Mothers are supposed to protect and love their children. But sadly, there are some moms who don’t do this. Did you know that sexually abusive mothers actually exist?
Sexually abusive mothers: Aussie mom sexually abuses own children to please men online
An Australian mom was recently convicted with over 17 years of imprisonment. The mom, one of many sexually abusive mothers, was guilty of performing and recording sex acts with her kids: a son and two daughters.
The 31-year-old mom’s name could not be disclosed due to legal reasons. She has been accused of sexually abusing her three children for the sake of impressing the men she encountered online.
The culprit was punished for 25 years of imprisonment at most. She says her motive came from the admiration her online audience gave her.
The Sydney Morning Herald reports that the mom was guilty of making and distributing online child pornography for two years. Phillip Mahony, her District Court judge, explained that the footage showed her male audience online that the mom sought a relationship:
“She said she committed the offenses out of thinking that men may feel something for her if she satisfied them. She had used her children as a means of getting attention from men. The offender received no money for doing so, just psychological benefits that flowed from the men’s affection and attention.”
Furthermore, Mahony added the mom was obsessed with sexual fetishes of submission and degradation.
In 2014, she even offered a man she met online into her house. The male stranger then sexually abused one of the mom’s daughters.
Apparently, the mom dated men online from 2013. On July 20, she admitted to eight accusations. These included having intercourse with a child under 10 and keeping child abuse material.
The mom’s children were abused by their worst nightmare: their own mom. Image for illustration purposes only. | Image Source: Stock Photo
“I hate myself for what I did”
Authorities arrested the woman after the International Sexual Exploitation Database (ISED) received three among the many videos she made.
The ISED is run by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children in America.
However, in a conversation with Christopher Lennings, a forensic psychologist, the culprit appeared remorseful. She said to him that she regretted her actions and relieved when police apprehended her:
“I hate myself for what I did. In all reality I don’t understand why I did it… I thought they [the men] had feelings for me.”
This isn’t the first case of sexually abusive mothers hurting their kids. In August, another Aussie mom was charged for teaching her daughter, aged 14, sexual techniques and distributing pornographic pictures to men. Apparently, she wanted to indirectly live life through her daughter.
The mom went so far as forcing her child to visit men for sex and purchased her contraception.
How to teach your child to protect themselves from sexual abuse: Safe / not safe touch
In an article for Huffington Post, Mary L. Pulido, the Executive Director of the New York Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, says that parents should start educating their children about sexual abuse and how to protect themselves from it as early as possible.
She recommends steering away from the commonly recommended “good versus bad” touch discussion and instead talk about “safe versus not safe” touch.
This makes it much clearer for the child in terms of what is right and wrong. For example, sometimes a “good” touch, like examination by a medical practitioner, can feel bad to the child, and bad touch, such as inappropriate fondling, can feel “good.” The term “safe/ not safe” gets rid of this confusion.
Mommy and daddy changing diapers is an example of a good touch! | Image Source: Stock Photo
You can also give examples to your child of safe touches, like mommy giving her a bath, or daddy changing didi‘s diapers. Then move on to bad touches.
Pulido actually gives a script for parents to follow: “Sometimes there are people, and they could even be people that you know and like, that may try to touch your private parts in ways that make you feel sad, mad, confused or uncomfortable. These are not safe touches.The person may tell you that it’s a game, or that you will like these touches.”
After this, talk to your child about telling you or another trusted adult if this ever happens to them. What is important, says Pulido, “is that the child keeps telling until someone believes them and takes action.”
You should also talk about what your child should do if the perpetrator tells the child to keep the abuse a secret. The following is the conversation that Pulido recommends:
“Even if the person who is touching you makes you promise not to tell, or tells you that they will be mad at you or they may hurt you, or someone you love, if you tell, that does not matter. What they are doing is bad and not your fault. You must not keep it a secret, you must tell me right away. Then, I promise that I will take the steps needed to keep you safe.”
Remember to reinforce that sexual abuse is never the child’s fault. It is always the abuser’s fault.
Reference: Newsweek
Also Read: 3 year old boy chokes to death on a longan: grim reminder on food safety