Relationships are vulnerable, especially when one is stuck between the thoughts of to sacrifice or to compromise as husband and wife. In other words, a failed marriage is likely to happen when love becomes a responsibility rather than a commitment.
All marriages that end in divorce have the same major impact on everyone’s life, and more so when there are kids involved. However, being a single parent does not mean he or she is incapable of raising their children successfully like any other families.
Parenting is everyone’s privilege and in this case, it really doesn’t take two to tango.
How a child may be affected being raised by a single parent
If your own family is imperfect, you will have to ensure that your kids still have what they need the most – an unconditional love. Just keep in mind that the separation from your other half will influence your children one way or another.
It doesn’t matter who gets to raise the kids, there’s nothing that can ever make up for missing either dad’s or mom’s love. The obstacles are huge, and the only way to overcome those is to understand what may lie ahead of your kids’ lives and how they affect their mental development.
Lack of confidence
With many conservative judgements that still exist in Asia, your children may feel isolated from their friends. The worst thing is when they start to develop an inferiority complex as they enter the stage of adolescence.
More materialistic demand
The moment your kids start to feel emotionally deprived, they tend to find joy in materialistic things like smartphones or video games. It’s a kid’s natural desire to fill in the holes of his or her incomplete family with physical things.
Not willing to accept failure
Most often, the irresponsibility over one’s failure comes from the person’s tendency to blame on his or her family background, especially those whose parents are divorced.
For example, you may come across your kids blaming on the fact that they didn’t have a father to teach them how to do math when they receive bad grades. The tendency of turning failures into the consequence of a family’s misfortune is very likely to happen among adolescents.
Learn how to raise a child to overcome all obstacles
Parenting is already challenging enough for couples, and it is definitely tougher on a single parent.
Below is our guide to parenting for single moms and dads in order to avoid the bad influences that may affect your children after the divorce.
Spend as much time with your kid as possible
Remember that you are your kid’s father and mother. A lack of attention is the last thing you would want him or her to feel. Perhaps the best thing you can do is to move in with your parents so that when you are busy, your baby will always get enough familial love.
Every moment spent with your kid is valuable bonding time. It’s when you can play the different roles in a family to get to know your child better. Show your love 24/7, be tender or tough when you need to.
Set rules for effective discipline
To raise your child as a lone parent requires not only patience but also the right methods. A mom would teach her baby differently than how a dad would, and both usually complement each other to shape a child’s mentality. However, things may be a bit more complicated without a partner.
The first thing that you should do is set house rules to teach your kid about good behavior. Because he only has a single parent to tell them what is right, you have to be 10 times more patient when it comes to creating good habits for your child.
Try to set your family’s routine in accordance to your job so that you will always have time for your baby.
Always listen and don’t avoid questions
The older your child grows, the more complex thoughts start to form in his or her head. That is when you will receive lots of questions about family matters. Don’t avoid them even if they bring back unhappy memories.
In fact, it’s the perfect time to understand how your child accepts the absence of his or her other parent. Teach them about life lessons that you have experienced yourself.
Love doesn’t mean pampering
The first step that leads to wrong behavior in your child is when you pamper him or her too much. Don’t let the guilt become a need to spoil your little one with materialistic things. That physical compensation is not what your kid desires.
Be open to having your child to hang out often with your ex-partner, or even spend your time together casually. After all, no one can really replace the role of a parent completely.
Seek financial help if you need to
Let’s be realistic, you are going to need a big budget for your child’s complete development. As a single parent, it’s critically important to afford good child care and education for your kid. You have to sacrifice your personal spending and put saving as top priority.
Don’t be reluctant to seek financial help, either from your relatives or banks. Personal loans are something worth considering when it comes to investing in your baby’s future.
Although the road to raising a child alone holds a lot more hurdles, but it’s still undeniably the most wonderful experience in a lifetime. Be thankful for the special gift that God sent to you, and that you will have a little angel walking side by side with you for years to come.
Also read: 5 Life lessons only kids of single parents can learn
Republished with permission from theAsianParent Singapore