Sometimes, you just have to stop ‘parenting’ and just start being a parent
A lot of parents worry too much. However, according to one author, the important thing is creating an environment focused on love, learning, and self-discovery.
Worrying is almost synonymous to parenting. If you ask a bunch of moms and dads, they're always worried about how can turn their kids into achievers, how they can make sure their kids are successful, or how they can ensure their kid gets high grades in school.
While all of these things are well and good, parents sometimes tend to focus too much on 'parenting', and completely forget being a parent altogether.
'Parenting' is a fairly new concept
According to Alison Gopnik, a professor of psychology and philosophy, at the University of California, Berkeley, the word 'parenting' is a recent creation.
She shares that "the term was first used in the 60s and then gained popularity in the 70s, and with it came the rise of a particular cultural picture of being a parent: that your job as a parent is to get expertise, information and tips that will help you shape children."
"What ends up happening is parents are so preoccupied with this hopeless task of shaping their children to come out a particular way that their relationships with children at the moment become clouded over with guilt and anxiety and worry and the need for expertise," she adds.
Your kid will be alright!
Gopnik maintains that instead of trying to direct your kids toward a certain goal, such as being an achiever in school, you should instead create an environment that will let your kids thrive and grow.
Kids are surprisingly intelligent, sensitive, and observant of their surroundings. Which is why creating an environment wherein your kids can learn, explore, and be themselves without any lofty expectations will be much better for them in the long run since they would have a chance to 'evolve' and find their own place in the world.
"Children learn much more from using their own brains to just observe and play than they do by having someone sit down and teach them," Gopnik adds.
So don't get too stressed worrying about how your kid will turn out. Just shower them with support, create a loving environment that embraces learning and self-discovery and maybe nudge them a little bit in the right direction every so often. Don't worry, your kid will be alright!
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