The struggles of being a mom, I thought it didn’t exist or it existed but only a few until I was a Mom myself. But to be honest, for me I won’t call them struggles—more of challenges that shaped who I am as an individual because I believe God won’t give me challenges that I won’t surpass.
When I was not pregnant yet, the hubby and I usually talked about our plans that if ever we’re going to have our mini me’s, we won’t get a yaya at all.
Why?
There are too many reasons, but the main reason would be it’s hard to trust your own child to a stranger.
Then I got pregnant and stayed at home for a couple of months because I was strictly on a bed rest.
Funny thing was the shows on ABS-CBN Ipaglaban Mo and MMK had the same storyline in one day, about a yaya or guardian who sold a baby.
That very Saturday, I was really determined that when I give birth to my child or if I’ll have more children in the future, I’d be yaya-less and I wouldn’t really mind.
And then I gave birth to my baby boy Gavin last March 2017 and I must say, it wasn’t easy at all during the first months, but good thing I had help from my mom for the first two months since she was on vacation.
After which, all the succeeding months up until now, I had no help at all.
At first, it wasn’t really easy to be a stay-at-home mom, especially I have depression episodes, but surprisingly, I got through it all.
It was hard because I needed to do an LOA from graduate school. I needed to decline attending events or even organizing one. I needed to stop working.
Why?
Because I needed to attend to my baby boy who needed me the most, thus needed to sacrifice everything ’cause my little one is my top priority already.
To be honest to be yaya-less was easy when Gavin wasn’t walking yet or even eating solids yet ’cause all he needed was my breast milk—meaning I didn’t need to prep mashed food for him.
After which it got a little bit complicated already when Gavin started eating solids, plus crawling, sitting down, standing, then walking and climbing.
But guess what? I made it all by myself.
On weekends, I had help since the hubby doesn’t have work. Thank God I had some time to rest.
That’s when I knew that the struggles of being a mom never stops, but everything is worth it when you see your kid growing healthy, strong, and smart. I didn’t know it was possible to do a lot of things, one-handed and I didn’t know I can portray a lot of roles thereafter.
I am a Mom—I breastfed but now I prep milk for him, I prep meal right for his age, I bathe him, I cuddle him, I taught him a lot of things (and still do up until now), I play with him, I sing to him, I read to him, I date him, I wash his clothes, and many more.
I am a wife—I do most of the house chores like cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I clean the house, I change the sheets, I wash our clothes, I do the grocery, I pay the bills, and a lot more.
Sometimes, doing all these things while I’m carrying Gavin with me or he’s on my feet hugging me.
Now that I’m back at graduate school and back at work, I have more roles to play and I couldn’t have it any other way.
I have been doing my thesis lately and it’s hella not good for me ’cause it triggered my depression episodes to come out again. But I’ve been doing great since going back to work, like attending events and then b/vlogging about it, meeting new people, accepting campaigns, going out there, it somehow helped my depression episodes not to come out.
I’m also back at writing articles and now it’s about parenting, how cool is that?! Glad to be a new freelance writer for TAP and I’m loving every bit of me right now since finally my heart is full and content ’cause I’m doing the things I wanna do once again.
But hey, I ain’t stopping being a mom to Gavin or a wife to my hubby ’cause let’s face it they’re still my top priorities.
Sometimes when I work, I bring my baby boy with me, if my events are kid-friendly. Sometimes I also bring the hubby, so that there would be someone who’ll look after Gavin while I’m doing my thing. Sometimes, the hubby brings Gavin in his office too, especially when I have a class or if my events aren’t kid-friendly.
But of course, I should always get an update about Gavin every now and then. Plus, since we don’t have a yaya, the hubby and I make sure our scheds are okay so that someone could look after Gavin.
I am pretty much a very hands-on mom ever since, I could be gentle, but the hubby said that I’m the stricter parent.
I homeschool Gavin ever since he’s three months old. As they say, you gotta start ’em young! I love teaching Gavin ’cause he’s smart and he loves being taught. Basically he loves learning new things and very eager on learning.
It may not be easy to be a yaya-less mom, but you know everything is worth it at the end of the day ’cause you know for yourself that you’ve been doing your best as a mom and as a wife altogether, plus of course doing a career you love too!
So glad also that I get to witness my child’s milestones and I wouldn’t miss any of Gavin’s milestones for sure ’cause he’ll always be my first.
I wanna be fully present in his life. I want my ways—like how I act, speak, sing, praise God would influence him to become the best version of himself. And that whatever happens, he’ll know that his mom is here to celebrate anything with him.
So for any yaya-less moms out there, you’re not alone and you’re doing a great job! I salute you!
Being yaya-less only means family should come first and prioritized at all times. Always remember that spending time with our children provides a sense of balance in our lives. It’s a reminder that the best things in life will never be things.
Moreover, life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation and the best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day.
Also read: 5 tips on how dads can be more involved in their child’s life