No matter how in sync you and your spouse are, there will be times when you’ll encounter bumps in the road on your journey to raising a family. And we all know that the strong teamwork with spouse is the answer for this.
Image from Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
You might clash when it comes to the way you prefer to discipline your kids or when making important decisions, like where to send them to school. It’s important to communicate and be considerate of each other’s point of view. It would also help to consciously and continuously strive for harmony, rapport, and teamwork with your spouse. Here’s how to make working well together as parents easier!
1. Be each other’s back-up
Come up with a “good cop and bad cop routine.” Decide whose turn it is to discipline your child, while the other can be there to offer comfort. Be sure not to allow your spouse to be overly harsh on your child and call them out when necessary.
“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” ― Benjamin Spock
2. Discuss issues privately
Seeing parents resolve conflict may be necessary to provide a good example to kids, but be careful not to lash out in front of them often. Sort through and discuss issues when out of earshot, prioritizing your kid’s welfare and not simply focused on winning the argument. Remember, your relationship with you partner and your child is at stake in this situation.
3. Talk when you are calm
Heightened emotions can cause you to say things you might regret. So before you open you mouth to say things, make sure your mind is at peace. Talk things out when you’re both calm and able to think and respond objectively. Remember that you’re not always right and there are a lot sides to an issue worth exploring.
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4. Hear them out when needed
Give your spouse a few minutes to explain their point or beliefs, without interrupting them. Listen and respect. That’s what they need.
When searching for a solution to a problem, you’ll have a better shot at being heard when you don’t lose your cool and genuinely listen to what your partner has to say.
5. Don’t let kids take advantage of discord
Seeing that you’re in constant conflict might cause kids to try and manipulate the situation. Show them a united front, despite the challenges, agree to disagree and reassure them you want what’s best for them, even you sometimes differ in your methods and beliefs as to how to accomplish this.
6. Acknowledge your spouse’s background
Taking your spouse’s family history into account can help inform how you relate to him. Did he grow up in a disciplined household or perhaps he was raised by free-spirited parents? Knowing this will help you better understand where he is coming from and communicate more effectively.
7. Ask for time to regain your bearings
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Not everything needs to be talked through immediately. Don’t be scared to ask for a “time out” when you need to. Self-care should be made a priority, just as being sensitive to your spouse’s emotional needs should be given importance. Time can help the relationship blooms again.
8. Empathize with your child but support your spouse
Show your child that you empathize with them when they’re upset or being disciplined, but be sure not to undermine your spouse’s authority.
It’s important to accept that you won’t agree 100% of the time, but what matters is that you never stop striving to work, compromise, and help each other to raise happy, kind, and healthy kids.
“The beauty of motherhood is not in the freshly pressed shirts and smiling photos we show the world. The beauty of motherhood is in the folds and creases of our lives, the grimaces and tantrums, the moments when we have to grit our teeth to get through, when we pound on windows and yell and scream and demand better of each other and ourselves.” — Robyn Passante, blogger
sources: Empowering Parents, Focus on the Family, The Parenting Squad
READ: 5 Ways to make co-parenting easier with your ex-partner