Marriage, in its own unique way, is a bit like the opening to A Tale of Two Cities: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”
Obviously, there are far more better times than worse, but that doesn’t mean every partner in a marriage is without a few shortcomings. In fact, if you think about it, I bet you could name a laundry list of things that your S.O. does that (for lack of a better term) tick you off!
In any marriage, communication is key if you want to avoid doing anything that infuriates your spouse. But…just in case, we’ve assembled a list of things that you should, by all means, try to avoid doing in front of your spouse.
Check out (and avoid doing) this list of collective pet peeves from real married couples and definite no-nos, and stay on your partner’s good side:
1. Treating the waiter poorly
Liza, 32: “When I was younger, my parents always told me, ‘A good judge of character is by seeing how someone treats someone in a lower position than they are. If they treat them poorly, then they’re probably not a good person.’ My husband and I have been together for 6 years, and I know he’s not a bad person, but it’s incredibly rude of him and embarrassing to me when he treats someone–like a waiter–with disrespect. It’s not a good quality in anyone, and I don’t want my kids to mimic that behavior. Whenever he comes close to doing it, I get on his case, and make sure he treats every person in his life with the utmost respect”
2. Cutting nails anywhere that’s NOT the bathroom
Samantha, 28: “It’s endearing to know that we’ve reached that level in our relationship. That point where everything is out on the table and we’re comfortable with each other..but c’mon. That’s just gross. Sometimes [my husband] takes a seat on the couch and start clipping away. One time I was eating. I love him to death, but I could gladly live the rest of my life without him ever doing that in front of me again.
3. Talking about exes
Daniel, 32: “I’ve always been the shy, silent type, so how I ended up with my wife…I’ll never know. Just blessed I guess. She’s beautiful, smart, funny, and all of that, so needless to say she had a fair amount of exes in her past–I didn’t. She doesn’t always mean to do it, but sometimes the occasional story will slip out, like, ‘Oh, I remember one time with one of my exes…’ and I couldn’t help but think about how annoying it was for her to bring up that story, or to even mention that it was with an ex at all! Like I said, she doesn’t mean any harm, and it’s not her fault that she dated in the past, but I don’t think there are many reasons to openly discuss your exes in a marriage.”
What else you should avoid doing in front of your partner? Find out what these husbands/wives had to say! Click next!
4. Playing with his phone during family time
Angela, 31: “My husband is a busy man, which is totally fine. But sometimes it’s like his eyes and hands are glued to his phone. Sometimes it’s for work, which is okay, but I have a strong feeling it’s always something that can wait till later most of the time. I’m not too strict on screentime or anything because I’m on my phone all day, too. But when i comes to spending time with the family, like, having dinner or walking around the mall together, it seems like he can’t take his eyes off of the phone. It’s really impersonal, it’s really rude, and it makes me feel like he’s not interested in being the best dad he can be.”
5. When he tries out a new move in bed
Bella, 27: “[My husband] and I have been married for 3 years; but we dated for 8 years before that. So, we’ve pretty much experienced everything together. I know his moves, he knows mine. But sometimes, he’ll try out some new move in bed and it’s a bit concerning. For one, I have no idea where he learned it. And secondly, it’s almost always really bold which means I have to awkwardly tell him I don’t like it. My advice for husbands: try to talk about learning new moves, or trying new things before surprising your wife with a new move.”
6. Wearing Spanx
Mikey, 37: “I’m proud of my wife. She’s proudly and bravely given birth 3 times, so I understand that her body isn’t exactly what it was when we got married. I don’t know if she thinks I’m lying when I say I love every inch of her body, or if she’s still insecure about her current physique, but she went ahead ordered Spanx. It’s fine that she invested in them if they help her out, but, honestly, I really–REALLY–wish she wouldn’t stroll around our bedroom in them because they’re incredibly unpleasant to look at! It’s even worse when she puts it on; let’s just say it’s far from elegant. I’d love her no matter what she looks like, so there’s really no need to wear them!”
7. Manscaping
Leah, 29: “I like seeing my husband all clean cut, and well-groomed, but that doesn’t mean I wanna see it in action. I can count on my fingers and toes the number of times I’ve walked in on him shaving something that I could go without seeing. It’s nice to see his interest in staying well-kept–especially since he’s pretty hairy–but I don;t think any wife needs to see what I’ve seen.”
READ: Is your spouse the one? A relationship expert shares how to find out
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