"Don't make it a competition," says Dr. Mikucki-Enyart. "You both love this man in completely different ways."
Did you know that daughters-in-law being at odds with their mothers-in-law is not a new thing? In fact, in a study conducted in 1954, only one in four women said she was in good terms with her mother-in-law.
The dynamic between a mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law have always been fraught with tension and unease, and typically these conditions don’t improve as years go by.
“According to the parenting website Netmums, one in four daughters-in-law actually ‘despise’ their mother-in-law, finding her ‘controlling,’” a Mama Mia report said. “The site found that the daughter-in-law’s resentment stemmed from the mother-in-law thinking that she was the authority on parenting and parenting skills.”
Daughters-in-law also described their partners’ mothers as guilty of “unreasonably jealous maternal love” in a study conducted by University of Cambridge.
They also called their relationship with their mothers-in-law as “hostile” or “difficult.”
“She is a controlling, manipulative witch that my husband loves and adores” one user described her mother-in-law on website Mothering.com.
But like all relationships, this dynamic between females is a two-way street, and many mothers-in-law harbor their own sentiments toward their son’s partners.
On the chat website Gransnet, many mothers-in-law vented out their frustrations.
“My DL is totally possessive with my son and doesn’t like him to visit us or my other son for more than 45 minutes she has a very insecure nature and sees us as a threat although none of us are. At the same time she spends full days with her family,” one user said.
But what is really the root cause of this tension between these women?