For a marriage to work, both spouses need to be excellent collaborators—a good team. But what if one doesn’t see the other as an equal without even realizing it? It’s important to support each other without being controlling.
Here’s how to know if you’re at risk of unknowingly hurting your husband’s feelings and how to keep this from happening.
1. You can’t stop nagging him
Each of us has at least one thing we can improve on when it comes to relationships. Surely, there are things about your husband you would like to change, but constantly nagging them may have the opposite effect. Instead, it’s best to be honest but still supportive. Give them room to make mistakes and be encouraging. Trust them to do what’s right, or at least try to.
2. You are always the in-charge parent
Do you will always have to win every argument? For example, when it comes to the kids, you hesitate to leave them in charge. You constantly doubt their capabilities as a parent. Sure, it’s natural to worry, but it’s also important to trust your partner. If they can’t seem to be efficient as a parent, try to talk to them and help them through what’s keeping them from fulfilling this role.
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3. You constantly relieve him of responsibility
This is a sure sign that you often do not trust them. Even when it comes things as simple as paying bills, you can’t seem to get around to delegating to them. Try to give them easy-to-accomplish tasks to help them feel empowered, then you can slowly give them more responsibility. Sometimes all it takes for someone to step up is someone believing in them.
4. You “baby” them
Often, it’s hard to switch off “mama mode,” but it’s important to know that it’s not your job to mother your husband, who is supposed to be a fully functioning adult. Caring for them is part of marriage, but overly shielding them from learning and growing on their own can cause more harm than good.
5. You don’t seek their help
If you don’t ask for your partner’s opinion or advice, this can make them feel undervalued. Everyone, even the most capable hands-on mom, needs help once in a while. Remind him that he is you’re partner and that you value his input and he efforts he puts into building a healthy and loving family.
sources: SelfGrowth.com, ForEveryMom.com, YourTango.com
READ: 8 ‘Bad habits’ married couples need to change to improve their marriage