You could be a victim of financial abuse in marriage without even knowing it

Do you suspect that your spouse has become more and more abusive when it comes to finances? Here's how to know for sure and how to fight it.

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Domestic takes on many forms. It can be physical, verbal, emotional, and sometimes, financial.

Financial or economic abuse happens when a person exerts their power over a partner or family member, keeping them from being able to control their finances or means of gaining income.

This type of abuse that often goes unnoticed, which is why it needs to be discussed.

There is no clear statistic in the Philippines when it comes to economic abuse in marriage. But it’s not far-fetched to conclude that financial problems are one of the main sources of conflict for married couples, as 10.5 million Filipino families identify as poor, reports BusinessWorld.

How can I know if I am a victim of financial abuse?

For instance, if your partner forces your career choices or refuses to let you have your own bank account, these are clear examples of financial abuse, says HuffPost.

There is also what is called Lazy Bum/Deadbeat syndrome, where the unemployed husband is the one controlling his working wife’s finances.

Another more insidious type of financial abuse is when a husband “forces a family” on his wife, meaning that she is unable to work because her pregnancies are too close together. This would make it difficult for her to find ways to earn, as she may be recovering from childbirth practically every year.

photo: dreamstime

The most obvious example of this sort of abuse is when your partner threatens to leave during disagreements, emphasizing the fact that his wife or partner cannot provide for herself if he leaves, as he has control of their family’s finances.

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Does this sound familiar? You could be a victim of financial abuse without even realizing it.

How can I stop being subjected to this kind of abuse?

Considering leaving your abusive partner is always an option, as this behavior could evolve into emotional and physical abuse. It is up to you to weigh this decision. Would you be happy in a relationship where there is a constant power struggle?

But if you think leaving isn’t the best solution, it’s time to reach out. Seek help from family, friends, and neighbors you trust. Ask for advice.

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Are you unable to get work because of your lack of skills? There are a lot of courses you can take online to beef up your resume.

Another solution is to save up in secret, every peso counts. Remember to hide your money well. If you can, open your own bank account. Ask family and friends to help you by contributing to your savings little by little, just to get you started. You can get a secret ‘sideline’ or job to help grow your secret fund.

Have you been a victim of financial abuse? How did you cope? Let us know in the comments below!

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READ: 7 Behaviors that look like love, but are actually emotional abuse

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Written by

Bianchi Mendoza