Do your kids bicker constantly? Sibling rivalry is a natural phase of development. Kids easily clash because of their fast evolving needs, personality, and fears as they grow up. Though quarreling is normal for young kids, it's when they start using foul language or physically hurting one another that it becomes concerning.
Here's how you can ease the animosity and help quarreling kids get along.
Don't compare
No matter what you do, avoid making kids feel inferior by comparing them with others. Each child is unique and they deal with conflict in unique ways. Asking them to be more "behaved" like an older sibling or classmate can just make them feel more upset and lash out more.
Show them you care
In many cases, siblings fight because of this unconscious need to get their parent's attention, make sure to pay attention. Don't discount their quarrel as natural, advises Kid's Development, or simply wait for it to blow over. Your kids' sibling rivalry may be signalling that you need to stop and help them navigate emotions that are too overwhelming for them.
Don't negate negative feelings
Let them be upset. Don't fall into the cycle of brushing them off when they pick fights or lash out. Work with them and provide them with constructive feedback: "I know you're frustrated, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you to hurt your brother. Try talking to us about what upsets you and we will face it together."
Positive Parenting Solutions suggests to calm conflicts by steering a healthy discussion. Instruct each child to express their feelings by beginning with "I feel that..." and then offer solutions. Make sure not to take sides!
Spend equal quality time with each of them
Again, their fights may mostly be to the need for attention. Try to make time for each of your kids, equally, says AskDrSears.com. This lessens their competition, and reassures them of your bond; it is also a good way to show them that you don't play favorites.
Let them sort things out
Try as you might, there are times when your kids are the only ones who can talk it out. Let them work through their fights on their own, while guiding them--not only will this teach them how to form conflict resolution skills, it can also make their bond stronger.
How do you deal with sibling rivalry moms and dads? Let us know in the comments below!
READ: 5 Ways to stop your child from becoming a sibling bully
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