Sex drive, or more commonly known as libido, refers to a person’s desire for sexual activity. This life force energy that runs through us all is what makes us want to have sex.
Our sexual drive is affected by various physical, psychological and social factors. For women, a loss of desire can be caused by pregnancy, childbirth, menopause and change of contraceptive methods among others. Stress, mood disorders, poor self-esteem, relationship problems, previous traumatic sexual experience and even alcohol and drug use can result in low sexual desire.
It’s important to remember that each person can differ in response and drive. A lack of sexual activity could place a strain on your relationship. Here are some few tips on how to reboot your sex drive:
- Cast out negative thoughts – You may find your mind performing at overdrive. For instance, thinking about that deadline at work won’t solve anything when you are under the sheets. Learning how to compartmentalise, to control your thoughts, and to return to your body is important. Communicate with your partner about what bothers you and try to find solutions to these problems. If you continue to feel overwhelmed, seek out a trained professional.
- Keep a healthy lifestyle – Between work and other social obligations, we have a limited amount of time to take care of ourselves. We often do this at the expense of our bodies which in turn affects our libido. Read up about nutrition. I would suggest limiting or cutting out diary, wheat, caffeine, meat, and processed sugars, and instead including more natural foods in your diet like vegetables and fruits. Moderate exercise can improve your well-being. Asking for and giving massages helps both of you to connect without the pressure in the bedroom.
- Try new things – Your libido may have decreased because sex is not as exciting as it used to be. You’d have to get out of your comfort zone and explore new territories. Introducing sex toys or role playing may spice up your relationship. Talk with your partner and see what their sexual fantasies are. Experiment with different positions and explore each other’s bodies. Instead of trying to reach an orgasm as fast as you can, slow down and enjoy the moment.
- Seek help – Sometimes a low libido is linked to a medical condition. A woman might suffer from vaginal dryness, and a man may not be as erect as he used to. At times, the solution may be as simple as incorporating using a lubricant.
Don’t despair if you’ve tried a lot of things and nothing seems to work. It’s important to address persistent low sexual drive with a gynaecologist, urologist or even endocrinologist. Everybody is different and finding something that works may take a little while, therefore, seek support sooner than later. Rev up your libido!
Republished with permission from: theAsianParent Singapore
READ: 5 Psychological barriers when it comes to having sex