Pinay moms: Do you really know what your husband is doing on Facebook?

We take a closer look at the dark side of Facebook in the Philippines. Are you sure your husband isn't part of this growing, disturbing subculture?

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With currently 2 billion users and counting, it’s safe to say that Facebook is now deeply embedded in this generation’s culture and psyche. Because of its growing population, it’s become a repository of memories, opinions, discourse, and yes, even pornography. To be fair, it would be difficult to regulate the 300 million photos that are uploaded on the site daily. Even harder still, would be verifying the 5 users that pop out every second. Report an offensive image or page and ten more sprout up in its place.  In just a matter of 60 seconds, 510,000 comments are posted and 293,000 statuses are updated. The Philippines still holds the title for being the most active country on social media.

Thanks to an essay on Esquire, a rising social media subculture built upon misogyny and sexual violence, has been exposed. The “pastor” culture has become a way for men to engage in porn and sexually offensive exchanges in “Bible Study” pages and groups, where they harass, demean, and celebrate sexually offensive behavior. One group called Bible Study ni Pastor Hokage has nearly 3 million active members. What’s even more disturbing is that a quick scan of these groups’ members will show you that many of these men are fathers to young children, who proudly use their children as their profile photos.

screenshot: Facebook

The term “pastor,” which obviously pokes fun at actual Christian pastors, originated from the internet slang terms hokage and breezy–these initally “harmless” terms are used to refer to suave men or “playboys” who have a skill for attracting women. But, on the internet, where the privilege of anonymity has emboldened these men not to censor themselves, it’s become more and more disturbing.

These men are active on “Bible study” groups and pages where they dump pornographic images or “scandals.” According to Esquire, these groups also post photos of minors in seemingly sexual poses. In private chats, it all becomes even more offensive as they have to prepare “ambag” or “lapagan” in order to keep the explicit conversation growing, exchanging random photos of unsuspecting women they manage to grab from all over social media.

How to deal when your husband or someone you know is part of these groups

While dealing with husbands who are Facebook cheating is one of the most common struggles married Pinoy women face, the fact that many of them our indulging their sexual appetite in these anonymous groups is just as concerning.

Since it’s so easy to create a “fake” Facebook account these days, it may prove to be difficult to confirm if your husband or someone close to you is a member. While asking them flat out won’t always work, it’s still important to communicate why this is so harmful to your family. When they’re so deeply attached to a group, even if it’s online, it “brainwashes” them into thinking that it’s a harmless “outlet.”

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It would also help to report these groups. How? Simply click the “gear button” on the right side of the group’s page and then click “report group” and the reason why you’re reporting it.

It’s also important to show your husband you still support him and respect his privacy, but that he

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that he can work on becoming more respectful of women. This culture of disrespect towards women online is reflective of offline rape culture. It helps “normalize” this behavior. The fact that many are taking it lightly is precisely why we need to fight against it.

Find out how you can help take these groups down, by reporting them here.

READ: My husband can’t stop watching porn. Should I be worried?

Be sure to check out theAsianparent Community for more insightful stories, questions, and answers from parents and experts alike. If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them in our Comment box below. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Google+ to stay up-to-date on the latest from theAsianparent.com Philippines!
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