One of the most challenging moments in my life occurred to me in January 2019.
I was writing my thesis paper and I felt dizzy and nauseous. I thought it was normal because I always felt those things whenever I was stressed or working too hard. I didn’t think much of it. Even now, I’m still unsure if what I felt were pregnancy symptoms or if it was just me being tired.
After writing my thesis, I went on to thesis defense and passing it together with my group mates.
In just a few months, I was going to finally graduate.
The excitement quickly turned into worry because of the things I wanted to do and achieve. I wanted to get a job and provide for myself and my family. It wasn’t easy for me. I was very emotional about it. I had to deal with overthinking and anxiety. I didn’t receive proper prenatal care.
I knew it was all on me and my partner. Being pregnant while still studying took a lot of effort for me to maintain my sanity.
I didn’t even take a pregnancy test. I only confirmed the pregnancy by searching for the symptoms on Google.
I finally understood why I wanted to pee all the time and why I had back pain.
My partner and I kept everything private up until the second trimester. We only told our families about our situation after we graduated from college and they accepted it.
My first pregnancy was not sensitive.
Going back to the moments when I am running errands for my thesis, I was traveling to places to collect data, and thankfully, I did not faint or feel worse than nausea, and it wasn’t severe either. My pregnancy cravings are simple. It’s sweetened banana with ice and milk. Just my regular favorite snack. I didn’t know then that something was wrong with me. Even my friends and sister who’s always with me didn’t realized that there is something different. That’s why I didn’t get to tell people about it sooner, because even I don’t know. I just started to worry three months after my last period. And when we confirmed it, I could say that my baby is so strong. After all that travelling, stress, and emotional breakdowns that I felt, he didn’t let go. And that’s why I don’t regret having him early.
I am not promoting teenage pregnancy, and I am not proud of it. We had our first pregnancy unplanned and we are both unprepared. But what I am proud of is despite being in a most challenging situation I tried harder and became stronger. We made ourselves ready for our baby. And I am also proud of my partner because he never gave up on us. He looked for a job immediately and loved us properly. Now my baby is turning three. We’re still happy and going strong. And thriving as long as we’re together, we can surpass everything faithfully.