It’s no secret that many men lie to their better halves. And they also manage to pull it off effortlessly! Whether they do that occasionally, compulsively or desperately, the fact is, they don’t mean to hurt you. So, how do you know when your spouse lies?
When your spouse lies
Here are the most common things they will say when they want to use one of their forgivable fibs.
1. ‘That dress looks great’
His reason to tell this lie: He wants to avoid hassle.
Now, this lie doesn’t mean that you look terrible. It’s just a man’s way to avoid hurting you. They say these kinds of things to keep their own life simple and stay out of trouble.
Arthur L. Kovacs, Ph.D., a psychologist in Santa Monica, California explains: “Lies at this level are a way to cushion the shock of two individuals interacting with each other.”
Other lies in this series could be:
- “No, you are not at all looking fat.”
- “Wow! The wallpaper looks superb.”
- “Cindy Crawford’s sexy, but not my cup of tea.”
2. ‘I can fix it’
His reason to tell this lie: He wants to protect his ego.
Do you know when your spouse lies? | Image: file image
Of course, he wants to impress you by doing all the traditionally manly things. And that’s why he will try managing all the guy-domain things like home repair, wiring stereos and so on. He just wants to show you that he is skilled at more than you see. And he won’t let go of a chance to sweep you off your feet by succeeding at these tasks.
Kovacs advises: “Reassure him that he’s lovable for who he is, and that he doesn’t need to solve every problem. There’s no shame in realistically evaluating each other’s skills and sorting out who should do what.”
These lies tend to lessen in frequency once the couple knows each other’s strengths and divides roles and responsibilities accordingly.
3. ‘I was not looking at her’
His reason to tell this lie: He wants to achieve balance between marital harmony and biological conditioning.
Whether you’ve been together for one year or ten years, your man might continue to feel attracted to other women. And that’s one lie that even you know. But then why does he have to lie when you both know that he’s going to look around.
Kovacs says: “This is what I call a ‘blessed lie.’ Men are given more license to acknowledge a wandering eye, but at the same time, we have to always treat our woman as if she’s the only thing in our field of vision.”
So, if you’re out with him and a good looking woman walks past, he will notice her. For your own sanity, maybe you can pretend that you didn’t see. Tough one, eh?
4. ‘I am fine’
His reason to tell this lie: He simply likes to lick his wounds in private.
Women look at a man’s loneliness as an opportunity to bond with them or console them. But alas, for men it just means that their personal weakness is now visible to others. That’s why your man might just retire into his cave if you push him too much when he’s upset.
Well, some men feel that if their partners could help in resolving their problems, they would definitely share. But when they know nothing can be done, they would rather stay in their shell.
5. ‘I tried calling you’
Reason why he tells this lie: He uses this as self-defence.
Ladies, remember this. When your man smells trouble, he uses lying as damage control. So whether he forgot to call you or buy eggs when you reminded them, they will tell you a lie about why they couldn’t do it. They feel that their pure intentions should be enough for you to forgive their petty crimes.
But when that doesn’t happen, they start managing the situation by telling a lie.
6. ‘If you don’t feel like it, let’s not’
Reason why he tells this lie: He wants to avoid looking like a sex-crazy monkey.
When your spouse lies: Why do men lie? | Image: file image
The expectations we have from men can be crazy at times. And this is one such area. You may want your man to be subtly romantic as well as respectful. But at the same time you might also expect him to spring into action when you are willing.
So, a man essentially has to fight an image of either being oversexed or undersexed. That is what may make him lie in the bedroom.
7. ‘I am the best’
Reason why he tells that lie: He wants you to feel good about marrying him.
Men love to talk about themselves with a hint of creativity. They just want you to be assured you’ve married the best man. Saying good things about themselves also makes them feel a bit proud. So, that’s a good boost to their male ego.
Your man may be exaggerating about himself to feel a little important in his own eyes. If that can be achieved by stretching the truth, so be it.
8. ‘My ex-girlfriend? She was strictly okay’
Reason why he tells that lie: He needs self-preservation.
Now you may be wondering if men even understand the importance of honesty! Well, ladies, they do. Bur when you’re talking about situations like discussing their ex-girlfriends, they may not want to divulge the details. Mainly this is because they don’t want you to think of them based on what happened in their past.
So, if they think telling you the truth is going to make you doubt them, they would rather tell you a lie and avoid the topic.
9. ‘I will never lie to you’
Reason why he tells that lie: He wants to live happily ever after, of course, with you.
When your man tells you that, do enjoy what he’s saying. Live in that moment. And enjoy this yummilicious ice cream he is offering you because it might melt away sooner or later. Whether your man means this or not, eventually he will again fib or tell you some harmless lie. You may find out eventually or maybe you never will.
When you need that kind of movie line and he’s giving that magic to you, just enjoy that moment.
Source: Men Stuff
ALSO READ: 5 lies that can destroy your marriage
Republished with permission from: theAsianParent Singapore