“What do you want to be when you grow up?” — a simple question that many families often start asking their children from a young age. But instead of waiting to hear the answer from the child, many families end up answering for them: “A doctor, of course! It’s great — you get to help people and make a lot of money.” But have we ever stopped to think why parents want their kids to be doctors so much?
This article explores why parents want their kids to be doctors, not just from cultural or financial perspectives, but through a deeper lens of psychology and social expectations. It also offers mindful parenting approaches to support children in choosing their own paths—free from guilt—even if, in the end, they don’t want to be doctors, and even when why parents want their kids to be doctors becomes a deeply ingrained narrative in the family.
Why parents want their kids to be doctors: The Medical Profession in the Eyes of Thai Society
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Doctor = Smart, Secure, Wealthy
In Thai society, the medical profession has long been seen as “the pinnacle of academic achievement.” Whether it’s the extremely difficult entrance exams, the many years of intense study, or the grueling internships, the effort is rewarded with high social recognition. This has created a fixed image that “the smartest kids = must become doctors.”
Moreover, being a doctor is one of the few professions considered stable, with low risk of unemployment, steady income, good benefits, and high demand in every era. As a result, parents who want to see their children financially secure often see being a doctor as a top career choice.
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Doctor = Social Prestige
In the eyes of Thai people, especially older generations, doctors are seen as selfless, virtuous, and highly ethical individuals — those who save lives and hold the power to determine the fate of patients.
Having a child become a doctor thus equates to immense pride and recognition from others — neighbors, relatives, or even community members. Some even feel that being the “parent of a doctor” is the greatest achievement of raising a child.
Psychology of Expectations: When Parents’ Dreams Are Placed on Their Children
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Unfulfilled Dreams
Psychologically, some parents carry expectations from the past—such as once dreaming of studying medicine but missing the opportunity due to financial limitations, intense competition, or personal problems. When they have children, they want to see them achieve what they themselves couldn’t, as if fulfilling their own dreams through their kids.
Though this may come from good intentions, it often becomes the starting point of guilt, discomfort, and conflict between parents and children—especially if the child doesn’t genuinely want to become a doctor but feels that their path has already been decided for them before they even get to know themselves.
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The Feeling of “I Love My Child, So I Want Them to Have the Best Life”
Many families raise their children with love and try to choose the best for them. This isn’t wrong, but care must be taken that “good intentions” don’t turn into “pressure.” While parents may feel that being a doctor is a secure profession and guarantees a self-sufficient future, the child may not see it as the life they want. For example, they might not like science, struggle with memorization, or have no passion for caring for others. Being forced to study something for their parents’ sake could lead to chronic stress or burnout at a young age.
Why parents want their kids to be doctors
The Pressure Children Bear: The Path to Becoming a Doctor Isn’t as Easy as It Seems
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Heavy Studies, High Stress
Studying medicine takes up to 6 years and requires passing the most competitive entrance system in the country. Students aiming to become doctors have to start preparing from early high school—attending tutoring, joining camps, entering competitions, and striving to get the best grades constantly.
Even after getting in, the program is not easy. Medical education demands memorization, understanding, and practical skills. Sometimes medical students have to work late or do long hospital shifts, causing both physical and mental stress. Many experience burnout and no longer want to continue studying—but don’t dare tell anyone, especially their parents, who have such high hopes for them.
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Being Boxed In from a Young Age
Some children grow up in families with the value that “you must be a doctor,” leaving them no chance to explore or try other careers that may suit them better. These children may feel that their lives have already been planned, and changing their minds would mean disappointing their parents.
As a result, they may lose confidence, hesitate to express opinions, or struggle to make important decisions for themselves—because they’ve always been told they must follow the path their parents have set.
Another Perspective: Other Careers Are Just As Valuable
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Every Career Can “Help People”
The term “helping people” doesn’t only apply to saving lives like doctors do. Every profession can create value and contribute positively to society in different ways. For example:
- Teachers help shape the future of children.
- Designers help develop livable cities.
- Psychologists help restore people’s mental health.
- Lawyers help those who are taken advantage of.
- Writers change the world with the power of words.
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Good Income and Happiness Don’t Require Being a Doctor
Nowadays, many new careers have emerged, such as app developers, YouTube or TikTok creators, data analysts, UX/UI designers. Many of these careers offer high income, flexible hours, and allow people to do what they love. The value of a child’s life should not be measured solely by whether they become a doctor, but by whether they are happy with what they do.
How to Raise Children Toward a Bright Future—Without Pressure
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Listen More Than You Speak
Many parents tend to begin with questions that lead to pressure, such as “Why don’t you want to be a doctor?” In truth, what should be done is to genuinely listen with an open mind—asking with the intention to understand, not just to reply. For example, “What do you like, and why?” Then, give space for the child to explain themselves without rushing to judge.
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Create Opportunities for Exploration
Let your child experience a variety of things—career camps, workshops, internships during school breaks, or activities related to different professions—so they can explore what suits them and how they feel about each type of work, without needing to decide too quickly.
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Separate “Love” from “Expectation”
Often, children may feel that their parents’ love is conditional—like they must get good grades or become a doctor to receive praise. Parents should clearly communicate that they “love their child for who they are,” not for the image they envisioned. Choosing a career should not be the measure of a person’s worth.
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Teach Them to Set Their Own Goals
Support your child in setting life goals that reflect their own desires. It doesn’t have to be what the parents set—wanting a simple life or helping the community are goals that are equally meaningful.
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Teach Them to Learn from Failure
Don’t be afraid of your child making mistakes, because failure is a crucial lesson. Parents should be the first to encourage their child when they are disappointed—not the ones who criticize.
Guidance for Modern Parents: Supporting Children with Awareness
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Provide Information, Not Orders
Shift the role from being a “commander” to a “consultant” by sharing information about various professions, including both pros and cons. For example, doctors have night shifts and it takes time to earn a stable income. Present other career paths with growth potential as well, so that the child can see the full picture before making a decision.
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Understand the Modern World
The world is changing rapidly, with new careers emerging that parents may not have considered—like UX designers, health data analysts, or personal development coaches. Parents should keep an open mind and learn alongside their children, rather than using outdated standards to judge their future.
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Teach Children to Measure Success by Happiness
Instead of setting goals based on salary or working in a big company, help your child set life goals based on happiness—such as doing what they love, having time for family, and maintaining good physical and mental health. Ultimately, happiness in life is the truest form of success.
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Use Reason, Not Emotion
When discussing the future with your child, parents should avoid emotional responses like sarcasm, guilt-tripping, or comparisons. Communicate with calm reasoning and a genuine intent to listen.
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Be an Example of a Happy Life
Children absorb ideas about happiness by observing how their parents live. Parents should demonstrate that “we also try to live meaningful lives,” not just to chase success as defined by society.
In the end, the question “Why do parents want their children to become doctors?” has many possible answers—security, pride, or simply love and the desire for the best life for their children. But if that expectation causes the child to bear stress and pressure and leads them down a path that isn’t truly theirs, it may end up closing the door to a genuinely happy life.
Modern parents should shift from being “guides” to becoming “supporters”—helping their children discover themselves, learn through trial and error, and know their worth no matter what path they choose. Because in today’s world, happiness will always matter more than a white coat.
Originally published on theAsianparent Thailand