“My wife and kids do not know that I am gay…”

Share this article with other moms

"I am a married man and a father of a five-year-old. My wife and kids are the most caring people I’ve known but I am gay"

Jess Quek’s ‘My Secret Baby’, made me realize that nobody is spared from the dark, cursed realm of secrets. While reading that confession, I felt the pressing need to share my little secret with you, dear theAsianparent reader. While we are made victims of our own secrets, the pleasure derived is too intense to break.

I am a happily married man and a father of a beautiful five-year-old girl. My wife is one of the most caring people I’ve known but my boyfriend loves me in a way that I’ve never known possible. That’s right. My boyfriend – who has been with me for almost three years now.

Which lie am I living? I am a gay man. Am I afraid to come out? When you’re born into an upper middle class Chinese family in the 60s and everybody rejoices over your birth because you’re the first heir after a drought of males for 30 years, there’s no way breaking a silence over this is a consideration for even a split second.

My wife is one of the most caring people I’ve known but my boyfriend loves me in a way that I’ve never known possible….

My mother, bless her soul, would never recover from such a shock and the frail woman is already 83. My father (may he rest in peace) would have probably hanged himself in shame at being unable to comprehend how he raised his son to be gay.

But homosexuality is not a choice. If it were, I would never choose it. I have a wife who attends to my every need, a daughter who thinks her father is Superman, relatives who look up to me and seek my advice over family squabbles or financial issues. If I were to ever reveal the truth, everything would come crashing down.

That’s not to say, I’m not proud of my partner, *Michael, but what is more pressing is – forever losing custody of my little girl.

photo: shutterstock

Read about how it began on the next page

Marriage Marital Issues Family Life