You’ve been there, fellow moms. You’ve had a rough day at work or at home (or both), you’re feeling overwhelmed from everything you need to do in a day just to keep things ticking along smoothly.
You are stressed and worried and so is your heart. It feels wounded, broken.
You gracefully hold it all together until after the dishes are done, the kitchen is cleaned up, and the final goodnights, kisses and hug. Until after the kids are asleep.
And then, you let it all out, in tears, in big, gut-wrenching sobs. Your husband holds you helplessly, not knowing how to help you other than with his hugs.
But you know what you need him to do (other than hug you) – it’s just that when this emotional collapse happens, you’re not really in a state to tell him.
So…
Dear husbands, this is especially for you, when you feel helpless in the face of your darling wife’s emotions and tears and you don’t know how to help her.
1. Don’t negate her feelings
Different women express their feelings of sadness in unique ways. It’s wrong to lump all women into the ‘females are from Venus’ category and expect a common bandage will ease her pain.
Yes, women are complex beings, but let me tell you a secret. Over time, you will learn by observing subtle clues exactly how to read your wife’s emotions and decipher what she wants in times of emotional collapse.
Feel your wife’s emotions. When she’s sobbing and you hug her, do you feel her body relax? Or does she pull away from you? Once you know what works, then either give her the space she needs or hold her close.
2. Extend your support
Sometimes, it takes longer than 24 hours to solve a problem. Helping your wife heal could also be like this. Show her that you haven’t forgotten how much you love her by leaving her sweet messages on post-its, or sending caring text messages through the day.
Always let her know you are there for her…
3. It’s not always about hugs
Women love hugs. But we also love shoulder massages, back and foot rubs, a kiss on the forehead or just a long cuddle in bed.
The right kind of physical touch that works for your wife (or a combination) can work wonders in mending your wife’s emotions.
4. Do one of her chores
There are certain things your wife may never ask you to do and you might never do these for her unless asked. It could be anything, from putting away baby’s washed clothes, to making his cereal.
Do one of these chores for her without asking.
5. Be her safe place
Yes she is the strongest woman you know, but she also has her vulnerabilities like anyone. Let her know that you are always there for her in her times of needs. That you will never judge her, and always be there and support her. This will give her the strength to get through those vulnerable moments, knowing that you always have her back, no matter what.
We hope these tips help your relationship grow even stronger and more beautiful.
Also READ: “Dear husband, please don’t ignore me when I tag you on posts”
Republished with permission from: theAsianParent Singapore