Year 2020 is such a really challenging year for all of us. But hey! We survived! We are moving forward and hopefully we can go back to normal. Last year, I realized many things specially when I gave birth to my daughter. It made me realized many things and I want to share it with her, with you. Someday when she grew up I want her to know that even though that we faced different obstacles, we made it. And I want her to know that even the hardest time in life there’s always a light, there’s always hope. So, here is my open letter to my Dear Isobel.
Year 2020 a challenging year for us. | Image from iStock
Dear Isobel,
There were so many things that happened on year 2020 that I had to write a letter for you to read when you’re older.. When you were 1 month old inside my tummy Taal volcano erupted. The ashfall was so bad and triggered my asthma. Mommy was so scared for you because my breathing was also yours and with that you had to be checked under ultrasound every two weeks. March came and we were on lockdown because of COVID-19. My OB gyne was nowhere to be found because hospitals became a dreaded place for all. Even our visit to new doctors became a check up at our own risk thing.
Taal volcano eruption in the first quarter of 2020. | Image from iStock
Fast forward to August, I thought that my 17-hour labor on you would be the most painful thing I experienced. But, it’s not.
Mommy and daddy got infected with Covid-19, eight days after you were born. You had to be away from us to make you safe. My mind was swirling day and night and it felt like I was on an auto pilot mode that time. I just gave birth to you through emergency CS and both my mind and my body were still so weak to accept that thing physically and emotionally. I was sick but I pushed myself to pump milk for you so you can have the antibodies my body created because of the virus. With God’s grace, daddy and mommy survived the virus and you were not infected. Mommy is so thankful to all other mommies and doctors who advised me to continue giving you my milk because it is still the best for you with precautions in preparing it.
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Image from iStock
After the quarantine, mommy had a hard time taking care of you because I suffered from postpartum depression. That PPD was the worst thing. Even worse than when I was positive. It’s harder to be sick in the mind. I pray that you wont experience that when it’s your time to become a mom. It’s traumatic that I thought I am not going to make it until the end of this year. Anak, put on your mind to never ever give up on yourself and never hesitate to seek help from other people if your mind and body is failing. Most especially ask help from God. That’s what I did to survive.
On the same year when you were born, there were typhoons that hit us hard and caused flood on our place like never before. There was even a fire on the last month of 2020 that I had to run while carrying you on the street at 1am.
Year 2020 is a challenging year but because of you and your very sweet smile. I could say that 2020 hasn’t been bad at all. ❤ | Image from iStock
I’m telling these to you not to let you know how many times we became unlucky during 2020, but how many times God saved us from all the challenges after we pray. Mommy was a coward woman until you came. Thank you anak for making me experience all of those things. God made me strong because of you. I promise that through the years, you will have me, your daddy and our Lord God to face things together. Because of you and your very sweet smile, I could say that 2020 hasn’t been bad at all. ❤
Loving you always,
Mommy Nene
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