Truths about motherhood
What does it mean to be a mother?
We speak to 30 mums who have been there, done that and lived to laugh about it!
On Pregnancy
1) You can never have enough photos of yourself and your growing belly.
2) Doctors are not Gods, what they say isn’t cast in stone. Trust your instincts and follow what you believe is the right path for you and your baby.
3) Your hormones can take you from being a sweetheart to a raging maniac then to a crying lunatic in ten seconds or less.
4) Your sex drive takes an extended vacation.
5) Being on bedrest could really happen to you! So start getting the nursery ready as soon as you find out you’re pregnant.
6) See a chiropractor for your backaches.
7) Get professional belly pictures taken. You do actually end up looking at them.
8) Measure the circumference of your belly just prior to going into labour
9) Take some photos looking down at your belly to capture the view you had every day!
10) Start now to learn to sleep on your side. It will pay off later as you get bigger. Sometimes it helps to use a few extra pillows.
On Labour
1) Labour does not feel like cramps, not like pooping, not like having sex when you are not lubricated. It’s more like a watermelon trying to force its way out of your body!
2) After an epidural you will fart. A lot!
3) Bring your own toilet paper with you to the hospital. Our taxes do not pay for soft toilet paper, and you don’t want to rub yourself with sand paper after just giving birth. Pack two rolls, one for before delivery (right after your water breaks), and one for after.
4) Bring an extra battery for the camera (just in case).
5) Get a doula. Her one and only concern is you and the baby. She has seen a hundred different births, helped a hundred different women with a hundred different pains.
6) You have to actually deliver the afterbirth as if it were another baby!
7) You might poop during pushing in labor.
8) When your water breaks, it is not just one big gush…it is several gushes.
9) Not only did will your hoo-ha hurt after labor…EVERYTHING will hurt!
10) How painful going to the loo would be after giving birth! If it’s intolerable you should sit on the toilet backwards, facing the wall when you pee (that way there’s less pressure down there and you can hold on to the toilet crying if need be!)
On Postpartum Life
1) Learn breastfeeding positions – certain ones are better for certain people. The football hold is not a good position for small breasted women.
2) You don’t need that many clothes for a newborn… You have to store what you buy!
3) Your first birth is not a predictor of your second birth. If your first labour was tough, your second might be a lot easier.
4) Sleep deprivation is a torture method for a reason and you will be finding out exactly why.
5) Not every restroom has a baby changing station. Be sure to find out exactly which shopping centres have a nursing room before heading out!
6) Men really can sleep through a crying baby.
7) If you think you have enough pads for your postpartum experience, you are wrong. Buy another pack. And another. Better to have too many than to gamble on your husband bringing home the right ones.
8) I wish someone would have told me that men are slower at “getting it” with what the baby wants and needs.
9) Little boys need the man hood to pointed down over in their nappies or they can pee out of the top of them very easily.
10) Don’t warm bottles up too much as your baby will get used to it, and then you will have to lug about flasks or find bottle warmers that take forever! The same goes for food too!
