At family gatherings, barangay events, or even casual neighborhood conversations, there’s often one common “icebreaker”—a mom’s appearance. We usually here comments like, “You’ve gained weight.”, “You haven’t slimmed down yet?” , “You still look pregnant!.”
It’s said so casually, like it’s normal. Like it’s part of our culture. But when did it become normal to tear down someone’s confidence?
Filipino Culture and the Pressure to “Bounce Back”
Let’s face it—Filipino culture is highly image-conscious. From a young age, we’ve all heard comments about our bodies—not just directed at us, but at Ate, Tita, and Nanay. And the pressure gets even heavier once a woman becomes a mother.
After giving birth, moms are expected to “bounce back” to their pre-pregnancy bodies—as if they didn’t just go through the miraculous, exhausting journey of carrying life for nine months, giving birth, and caring for a newborn 24/7. And what do they often hear first? Not “How are you?” but “When are you going to lose weight?”
Mothers aren’t just healing physically. There’s also an emotional and mental battle happening quietly. But instead of comfort and empathy, they’re met with judgmental glances. Instead of a hug, they get a stare. Instead of “Kumusta ka na?” they get, “Have you started working out?”
We often put so much pressure on women—especially mothers—to shrink themselves back to who they were before giving birth. But the truth is, it’s not that easy. And more importantly, it’s not necessary, nor should it be expected immediately.
A woman’s body that has gone through pregnancy and childbirth is not something to fix—it is something to honor. It is a body that stretched and scarred, that ached and endured. It is a body that housed life, protected it, and brought it into this world. That body deserves rest, healing, and reverence—not scrutiny.
To expect her to erase the physical traces of that journey as fast as possible is to ignore the depth of what she just survived. Motherhood isn’t a before-and-after photo—it’s a transformation of spirit, strength, and unconditional love.
So instead of telling her to “go back,” let’s celebrate how far she’s come. Her worth isn’t in her waistline. It’s in her heart, her sacrifice, and her ability to love even when she’s running on empty.
Image from Shutterstock
Body Shaming in Moms: “It’s Just Concern”—Or Is It?
It is the common defense of those who body shame. But is it really concern when you say it in front of other people? When you glance at a mom’s belly and follow it up with a snide comment? Unsolicited “concern” can feel more like an insult. And an insult, even when wrapped in humor or “just catching up,” still cuts deep. Comments like these can trigger self-doubt, body insecurity, and even postpartum depression. And instead of becoming a support system, families and communities often become the first critics.
A Mother’s Body Is Not Just a Body
A mother’s body has been through everything—nausea, pain, sleepless nights, stretch marks, emergency C-sections, backaches, hormonal shifts, blood, sweat, and tears—all to give life.
She didn’t simply “gain weight” , she isn’t “failing to slim down.”, SHE SURVIVED!
That belly you’re pointing out? It’s where life grew.
That arm you say looks “bigger”? It cradles and carries her child every day.
Those eyebags you laugh at? They’re from nights spent staying up with a sick or hungry baby.
Look a little deeper, and you’ll realize—we shouldn’t be criticizing her body. We should be kneeling in gratitude for what it has done.
Image from Shutterstock
Shift the Conversation: From Body Talk to Real Talk
So how do we change the culture of body shaming in moms?
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Stop using someone’s body as small talk. Ask how she’s doing as a mom, a friend, a person. That matters more.
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Affirm, don’t compare. Instead of “Good thing you lost weight,” try “You look strong” or “You’re doing great.”
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Speak up when you hear body shaming. You don’t have to start a fight—sometimes, a simple “Why did you say that?” is enough.
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Don’t body-shame yourself either. Moms often absorb that same shame and turn it inward. Break the cycle. Don’t be the one who do it to yourself
How Can Husbands Support Their Wives?
In a world that constantly critiques a mother’s body, a supportive husband makes all the difference. Husbands and partners play a crucial role—not just in protecting moms from body shaming, but in helping them rebuild their self-esteem and sense of self. Here’s how you can help your wife:
Image from Shutterstock
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Affirm her. Tell her she’s strong, not that she needs to lose weight.
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Speak up. Redirect or shut down body-shaming comments from others.
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Appreciate her body. It gave life—respect it.
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Let her rest. Offer help and emotional support.
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Be kind. She needs love, not pressure.
Sometimes, the most powerful thing a partner can say is: “You’re doing great. I’ve got you.”
Let’s End the Shame, One Conversation at a Time
Yes, this has been part of our culture for so long. But that doesn’t mean it’s right. And if even just one mom starts pushing back against body shaming, let’s follow her lead. Every time you choose kindness over criticism, every time you affirm instead of judge—you make space for change. Love her. Support her. Don’t judge her. Because every mother deserves love, respect, and peace—especially in the body that carried, labored, and gave life.