If you have kids, you’ve probably experienced a “dry spell” in you and your spouse’s sex life. It’s not uncommon for couples to stop having sex after having kids. In fact, it’s a pretty common occurrence.
Why exactly does this happen, and what can married couples to to prevent it?
Who do couples stop having sex after having kids?
A lot of people think that the main reason why a married couple’s sex life declines after having kids is due to the fact that the couple gets too busy taking care of their child, that they don’t find the time for themselves.
While this is partly true, some studies have found that it also has something to do with the parents’ sex drive declining right after having children.
For moms, their motherly instincts start to kick in and thus most of their attention is focused on caring for their child. Being a mother can be very tiring, and sex isn’t enjoyable if you’re feeling tired.
Dads, on the other hand, experience a drop in testosterone, which helps prepare them to become a dad. Men with lower testosterone levels are less aggressive, and are more caring compared to men with higher testosterone. And just like moms, dads can also become too tired to have sex, especially if it’s their turn to take care of the baby.
This means that a decline in your sex life after having kids doesn’t necessarily mean that your spouse no longer finds you attractive, and shouldn’t be a major cause for concern.
Revive your sex life
However, this doesn’t mean that this decline doesn’t cause problems in a marriage. Sometimes, couples get so used to not having sex, that it becomes the norm for them. While it’s true that sex isn’t the most important thing in a marriage, it’s nevertheless important for married couples to become intimate every so often and reconnect with each other.
Sex also helps lower stress levels, and you’ll notice that couples who have sex often tend to be more relaxed and have less fights and arguments. On the other hand, a lack of sex can make couples more irritable and tend to fight more.
Here are a few ways to revive your sex life after having kids:
- Make time for each other. Set aside a day wherein you and your spouse aren’t busy, and find the time to have sex.
- Talk to each other more. Talking to each other helps build intimacy, which also gives your sex life a boost.
- Be more romantic. Little acts of romance can go a long way, and can make both you and your spouse get in the mood.
- Try out something new. Don’t be afraid to try out new things in bed, learn what the both of you like and dislike and give your sex life a boost.
- Just do it! Sometimes the best way to go about it would be to not think about it too much and just have sex!
Sources: telegraph.co.uk, bellybelly.com.au
READ: Sex after kids: 5 ways to rekindle the romance