Why is there a fear in the first place?
The first thing to understand would be where the fear is coming from. Is there a lack of trust in the relationship? Do you feel unsafe or do you have feelings of insecurity even if you’re already married?
In some cases, there might be something that happened between you and your spouse that caused you to have a fear of emotional intimacy. Fear can also stem from anxiety. Maybe you’ve had something happen in your past that caused you to feel anxious or to have a fear of intimacy.
Either way, it’s important to know the root cause so that you can get to work on losing your fear of intimacy.
Don’t be afraid to seek help
If you feel the need to seek professional help, then by all means do so. There’s nothing wrong with trying to seek help so that you can handle your problems, so don’t be ashamed about it.
It can be a bit expensive, but it’s totally worth it since the benefits will last you for the rest of your life. Therapists can do wonders when it comes to these issues, so don’t be afraid to reach out.
Let your spouse know how you feel
It’s just as important for you to tell your spouse why you’re being emotionally distant or why you’re having a hard time being emotionally intimate.
Letting them know that you’re having trouble expressing yourself or connecting with them is a way to let them know that it’s not their fault. For all you know, your spouse might be bringing himself down, thinking that it’s their fault. Don’t be afraid to share your feelings with them,
Learn to express yourself
Another important thing to do would be to slowly try and learn to express your emotions, instead of shutting them off. It might be difficult at first to do so, but starting small, and learning to be more open about how you feel, you can eventually express yourself fully.
Take it one day at a time
Lastly, don’t be discouraged if it’s taking a while for you to open up and start to be emotionally intimate towards your spouse. These things take time, and it’s not an instant process.
Working on emotional issues takes work, and the important thing to know is that you have to be persistent when it comes to working on your emotional intimacy.
It’s helpful to have a supportive spouse, since they will be the one to help you go through your issues, and they’ll be with you every step of the way. Don’t feel like you’re a burden, and try to be happy and appreciate the fact that you have someone that will stick with you through thick and thin.
Source: marriage.com
READ: 4 Reasons why you and your spouse are no longer intimate