Newlyweds are usually clingy, and it’s clear that they’re still very much in love with each other. However, as time goes by in their married life, things can become stressful, and their responsibilities start piling up.
Eventually, things start to become routine, and the intimacy that they once had, has now all but disappeared. Why does it happen, and what can couples do to prevent it from happening?
Misunderstandings about intimacy and sex
First off, it’s important to know the difference between intimacy and sex. Most of the time, people use the terms sex and intimacy interchangeably, but they’re actually different things.
Intimacy is defined as an affectionate, loving relationship, or having a deep familiarity or understanding for someone. It’s about being comfortable whenever you’re with someone.
In a relationship, especially marriage, the couple should know the difference between intimacy and sex, since while a healthy sex life is important in a marriage, it’s not always the best sign of intimacy. Sometimes simple acts like cuddling, hugging, or holding hands can improve a couple’s intimacy more than sex.
Being exposed to sex at a young age
There are some cases wherein people who were abused as children, or exposed to sex at a very young age have a hard time being intimate with someone, even if they’re already married.
For them, it’s hard to create meaningful relationships since they have a distorted view of intimacy and sex.
If you or your spouse has experienced something similar, and you feel that it’s affecting your intimacy and your marriage, don’t hesitate to seek help from a mental professional.
Being addicted to sex
Sometimes, too much sex can cause a rift in a marriage, and interfere with intimacy.
Sex addiction isn’t as rare as you think, and it’s a condition that affects both men and women. Sex addiction causes problems in the relationship since being addicted to sex can cause a person to sometimes lie and cheat on their spouse in order to satisfy their needs, especially if their spouse doesn’t feel comfortable with having a lot of sex.
Sex addiction is a problem that needs to be addressed before it escalates further, and it’s important for couples to be open, and be understanding of each other, especially when it comes to problems like these. Professional help is always an option, and seeking help can make sure that your marriage lasts.
Intimacy anorexia, similar to the eating disorder, means that a person with intimacy anorexia withholds love, praise, sex, feelings, or a connection with someone else.
According to marriage.com, it is a “type of relationship addiction (a condition in which a person has a need for love yet repeatedly enters into or creates dysfunctional relationships), and often is associated with sexual addictions. Its goal is self-protection and counters the vulnerability needed to create intimacy.”
When it comes to intimacy anorexia, it’s important to seek help from a marriage counselor, or a professional who can help sort out a couple’s problems.
READ: 7 Tips to keep you and your spouse happy once you have kids