We all want someone beside us when we give birth. But what if, for some valid reason, they couldn't be there? Read Mommy Raechelle's story on giving birth without a support person with her.
What can you read in this article?
- Why she had an emergency C-section
- How she felt knowing that no one would be beside her as she gives birth
Isn’t it great when you have someone by your side during your difficult times? That moment when you have someone to lean on when you’re suffering from pain. They said it would be better if there would be someone you trust to support and be with you during your labor and childbirth. And yes, it is! But certain situations or events arise.
They called me brave momma. Why? Because I was able to give birth - cesarean section delivery - without my husband or any family member in the hospital.
They were not there when I gave birth. Did I feel any grudge? No. Konting tampo lang.
October 27, 2019, was supposed to be my due date but there were still no signs of labor. So I went with my husband to the hospital for my check-up. According to my OB-Gynecologist, my cervix wasn't dilated yet, so I had to come back the next day and I should update her if there was any progress in my labor.
So, on October 28, 2019, there was still no progress - no labor pains, no cramps, no pain at all except for the brown discharge I saw when I woke up. I decided to go to the hospital alone since my husband had to go to work that day.
He told me to text him if my check-up would be done so he could fetch me. He also asked me if I will be okay going alone- that I could ask my sister-in-law to accompany me, but I said yes, I can manage, thinking I won’t be giving birth yet.
The emergency C-section
At the hospital, I felt a little bit nervous. I felt so alone. My doctor started to do an internal examination (IE) on me and again, told me my cervix wasn't dilated yet. But based on my ultrasound the day before, there was a cord coil on my baby. So she did the biophysical ultrasound and stress test (BPS) to check the heartbeat.
There was a heartbeat but it was stagnant not unlike the previous test done. She asked me if it was like that before, but I said I didn’t know. She told me she had to repeat it, and I felt even more nervous. I was not yet ready to give birth at that moment yet.
“Sino’ng kasama mo ngayon?" asked my OB.
“Mag-isa lang po ako doc," I told her
She told me to call my husband, but I said I don't know what his work schedule was at the time. She then called another doctor and showed her my BPS result. I heard them talk about fetal deceleration and I grew even more worried. Eventually, she said:
“Ma’am, hindi ko na mahihintay yung asawa mo, kailangan ka nang ma-operahan, I-CCs na kita kasi pumapangit heartbeat ni baby mo. I-text mo na lang sya na pumunta na siya ngayon and tell him the reason.”
I texted hubby right away, but there was no cellular signal in the hospital, so my message couldn't go through. My OB even offered to go outside the hospital so that my text message would be sent.
I was already so nervous at that moment. I didn’t know what to do. I felt numb. I couldn’t think well.
My OB started to inform her team, and they got ready for the operation. They started doing several tests and asked several questions. I just kept answering one question after another. I also signed a consent form. It was all going so fast. I even told them,
“Ma’am, sir, may ID po ako dyan sa bag ko. Pakicheck nalang po. Thank you.” I did that because I wasn't sure of my answers anymore.
Giving birth without a support person around
While the hospital staff continued to prepare me for the operation, I felt like crying because I felt so alone. There was no one there to assist me. I could see the other moms-to-be with their husbands with them. While I didn't even have anybody with me. But I needed to stay strong.
Hindi ganito ang na-imagine ko na panganganak ko. I had hoped that someone would be beside me to comfort me, to encourage me, telling me I could do it. But I had no choice, andiyan na 'yan eh. I just told myself that I needed to do it for my baby. Her safety is my priority. So I just prayed that everything would go well.
When the nurse did the skin test, I couldn't help but cry. Not because of the pain, but because of fear. All the uncertainty and I was going through it all alone. The nurse asked me why I was crying, and I just said it was because of the pain. I was about to be wheeled to the operating room, so they just asked another nurse to take care of my belongings.
In the OR, I heard the team pray before they began everything. After the epidural, one of the nurses approached me and asked for my husband's number so they can call him. I gave them his number and the nurse asked me to relax and go to sleep.
I couldn’t imagine what happened next. It seemed so fast, but it's as if it took forever as well. Then, I heard my baby’s cry. The nurse told me it was my baby. I cried again - tears of joy this time. I was so excited to see my baby’s face. Then a nurse approached me and said,
“Ma’am, may iba ka pa pong number ng husband mo? Wrong number daw po kasi sabi nung tinawagan ko."
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While we were in the recovery room, I felt cold and nauseous. But at the same time, I was so excited to see my baby. I was also sad for her, because I didn't know if my husband was already there, and if my newborn already had her clothes on. I felt like crying again, thinking about my poor baby.
The nurse asked me if my husband or a companion was already there, and I told her I'm not sure. Then they handed me my precious baby. All I could say was “Thank you po Lord, we’re both safe.” And at the same time, I remember saying, “Ang ganda niya!”
I started to worry about my husband, and so many thoughts entered my mind. Did he gets the texts? Was he able to come home? Maybe he doesn't want to come here at all, maybe something bad happened to him.
But when I looked at the door of the recovery room, boom! There he was, trying to get a peek of what was inside. So I called the nurse and told him my husband had arrived.
I saw how excited he was when he saw us and when he carried our baby. Maybe he also felt sorry that he was not there when I needed him most. I saw all his efforts that time, from cooking food to bring to the hospital to feeding me. He made sure that I ate on time and slept on time. He changed my diaper and carried me to the bathroom when I wanted to freshen up.
He stayed up late to make sure me and our baby were well taken cared of. Even when we got home, he was still very hands on. He cleaned my wounds and carried me when I couldn't walk. He comforted me when I was struggling being a new mom. He was there for us all throughout and I hope he never changes.
I was also thankful to all the people (our families) who helped my husband when we were in the hospital and when we were discharged already.
Hubby's story
Then one time, my sister-in-law told me about how my husband found out that I had already given birth.
He just came home from work and was resting. Then he just woke up when someone called and told him that I was in the hospital and I had given birth. Halos di raw niya alam kung ano ang uunahing damputin. Medyo natataranta at nag-aalala daw sya at halos nagmamadali siyang pumunta ng ospital.
He just told my sister-in-law about the other things that needed to be brought to the hospital. It was a good thing that I prepared our hospital bag before giving birth. Of course, I was happy and impressed at how he reacted and responded to the situation.
It's true, nagtampo ako ng konti for what had happened, but not enough for me to hold a grudge. Maybe one factor why it happened was because I never experienced any labor pains. If that was the case, I could've had enough time to call him or even go home first and tell the other family members.
Anyways, he had his reasons and what is important now is how he takes care of us, loves us, protects us, and provide for us. And he’s doing really great even if there are some misunderstandings sometimes. And that’s part of our marriage and parenting journey.
People call me brave momma every time I share to them my birth story. It's true that giving birth without a support person around you is not a walk in the park. It's difficult - physically, and even more emotionally.
But I guess each one of us will do the same if they were in my shoes. It just happened that I was in that situation. And I know for sure that every one of us has our own way of being brave and showing courage at one point in our lives.