With all of the marriage advice couples come across, it’s natural to be overwhelmed, especially if one article contradicts the tips of another. When you’re upset or when your spouse is getting on your last nerve, it might be difficult to remind yourself about that article you read a few weeks back about…what did it say?
Here’s some advice you won’t soon struggle remembering—the 5 R’s.
Right
Real
Rapport
Relate
Review
Fight Right
Arguments are a healthy part of any relationship. Couples who don’t fight deprive themselves of the ability to learn to resolve conflict in a healthy, loving way. Those that are resistant to their partner’s opinion end up experiencing more resentment and struggles in the future. Being able to remain considerate and caring even when fighting is one good trait that will help your marriage last.
Keep It Real
Manage your expectations. Expect that your marriage will not always be “happily ever after” because if you do, it will only set you up for disappointment. Instead, strive to have more realistic expectations of you and your partner. Don’t be too influenced by the relationships you see on TV or in Movies because, though they can be relatable, they’re not actual portrayals of real life. Love is messy and it’s loving through the imperfections that makes it all the more special.
photo: dreamstime
Have Rapport
At the end of the day, it’s not your partner’s looks that attracts you, it’s the chemistry and the harmonious relationship–despite occasional conflicts–that reassure you that you’re with the one you’re meant to be with. It’s all about communication and openness. Remember: you’re partner is not a mind reader. You have to tell them how you feel and not expect them to anticipate when you need help. Friendship is just as important to marriage as romance.
Relate
Cultivating similar interests and cherishing the same values helps strengthen your bond with your spouse or partner. It also means sharing a similar fighting style.Relating means genuinely listening and being attentive to your partners needs and wants. You don’t have to do every single activity together, but you must be sincerely invested in each other’s pursuits and hobbies, no matter how simple they may be. Love is in the little things.
Review
There’s no quick fix or instant trick to have a great marriage. It’s something you both need to work at and constantly improve. To do this, you must constantly assess and review all aspects of your relationship. For instance, ask yourself: Can I be a better listener? Should I try to be more reliable? What promises have I broken? How can I show my spouse I appreciate them?
Self-reflection is just as important in relationships as assessing where you’re at as a couple. A marriage is the union of two individuals, so self-improvement should always be a priority, even for married couples.
Is there another R you would like to add to this list? Let us know in the comments below!
source: Time.com, Psychology Today
READ: 8 ‘Bad habits’ married couples need to change to improve their marriage