Nowadays, kids are under constant pressure to succeed in life. They need to have good grades in school so that they can enroll in a good university, and they need to graduate with flying colors so that they can get a high paying job.
And a lot of parents feel that in order for their kids to succeed, they need to make sure that every little thing their kid does is always right, to the point that they become too overbearing; they turn into “helicopter parents”. While helicopter parents have their kids’ best intentions in mind, in reality, being too overbearing can actually have the opposite effect on their kids.
Kids should be independent
Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of “How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap,” shares that from her work as the freshman dean for Stanford University, she found that as the years went on, more and more parents came to the campus with their children to help them with choosing courses, their extra-curricular activities, their major subjects, etc.
She noticed that it didn’t feel like she was in college, she felt like she was watching something that happens in a middle school. The students were constantly asking their parents if they should do this or that, and they didn’t seem prepared for their own independence.
These days, a lot of parents become too overbearing. They watch over every little thing that their child does, makes their decisions for them, even chooses what clothes they should wear. And this type of helicopter parenting breeds adults that are pretty much clueless on how to deal with problems and handle ‘the real world.’ It’s hard for them to think for themselves and be independent because, at the very beginning, their parents were deciding everything for them.
Kids should learn to be independent at a very young age, and helicopter parenting is destroying that.
Learn to trust your kids
At the end of the day, helicopter parents just want the best for their kids. That’s why they go out of their way to make sure that their kid has a bright future ahead of them, even if it means being too overbearing.
And who can blame them? Parents these days are also under a lot of pressure to raise good kids, so it’s no wonder why a lot of moms and dads turn into helicopter parents.
But the one thing missing from this equation is that parents need to learn to trust their kids. Parents don’t always need to hover around their child; kids are capable of being independent even at a very young age.
Parents should instead teach their kids to be more passionate, to work hard, and follow their dreams, to be more loving and considerate of other people, and to be more thankful. Parents need to learn to let their kids make mistakes so that they can learn. A parent’s job is to guide their kids, and teach them what’s right from wrong, and instill in them the right values. Parents don’t need to worry about each and every little thing that their kid does, and just let their kids be kids.
Sources: ted.com, time.com
READ: There is such a thing as ‘narcissistic parenting’, and here’s how to avoid it
