The phrase “adults are never wrong” is one many people may have heard during childhood. This idea has long been embedded in Thai culture, rooted in values of gratitude and respect for elders. Thai children are taught to obey and respect their parents without question. But in reality, parents are human beings, with flaws just like everyone else. If children can make mistakes, so can parents—and when parents apologize to child, it sets a powerful example of humility and emotional maturity.
Imperfection Is a Part of Being Human
Dr. Bryan Goldman, a renowned child psychologist, explains that “admitting your mistakes in front of your child teaches a lesson more valuable than any lecture. It shows that failure is part of life, and that taking responsibility for one’s actions is a key trait of emotional maturity.” (Goldman, 2019)
Furthermore, the research of Dr. Carol Dweck (Dweck, 2016) on the Growth Mindset supports this perspective. When children see their parents acknowledge their mistakes and make an effort to improve, they learn that abilities and personality traits are not fixed but can be developed through effort and learning from failure.
The Impact of Parents Who Apologize to Child
1. Children May Learn That Admitting Mistakes Is Shameful
When children never see their parents admit to mistakes, they may come to believe that acknowledging wrongdoing is something to be ashamed of or a sign of weakness. This can lead them to grow into adults who avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Research by Price-Mitchell and colleagues (2015) found that children raised in households where mistakes are never acknowledged are more likely to fear failure and have underdeveloped conflict resolution skills.
2. Parent-Child Relationships May Be Damaged
Refusing to admit mistakes can lead to unresolved conflict and built-up resentment. Children may feel that their emotions are not respected or valued, resulting in a lack of trust and open communication. A strong parent-child relationship must be built on mutual respect. When parents refuse to acknowledge their faults, they send a message that preserving their own image matters more than their child’s feelings.
3. Children May Become Confused About Justice
If parents insist their children apologize when they do wrong but never do the same themselves, children can become confused about moral standards and fairness. They may begin to feel that there are double standards within the family, which can lead to resentment and a long-term erosion of respect.
4. Children May Develop a Habit of Blaming Others
When parents model blame-shifting or deny responsibility, children are likely to imitate that behavior. Bandura’s Social Learning Theory (1977) shows that children learn through observing and mimicking their parents’ actions. Thus, parents who never admit fault may inadvertently teach their children to do the same.
The Power of “I’m Sorry” from a Parent
Since parents can make mistakes too, the ability to say “I’m sorry” when they are wrong brings immense benefits to a child’s development and the overall family relationship.
Modeling Responsibility
When parents demonstrate that they can take responsibility for their actions, children learn to do the same. “A sincere apology is one of the most important emotional and social skills we can teach our children—and the best way to teach it is by modeling it through our own actions.”
Building Trust and Emotional Safety
When parents admit their mistakes, they show their children that their feelings matter and that the family is a safe space where mistakes can be acknowledged. This fosters trust and strong emotional bonds. A stable and emotionally secure relationship in childhood is a key foundation for mental well-being and healthy relationships later in life.
Teaching Meaningful Apologies
When parents sincerely apologize to their children, they don’t just show that apologizing is a good thing—they also teach what a meaningful apology looks like: acknowledging one’s actions, recognizing the impact on others, expressing genuine remorse, and offering a solution or a plan to prevent it from happening again.
Promoting Equality in the Family
When parents admit mistakes, they show that everyone in the family has value and deserves respect—regardless of age or status. This concept is crucial in helping children develop self-respect and empathy toward others.
Easing the Pressure of Perfection
When parents embrace their own imperfections, they ease the burden of unrealistic expectations—both for themselves and for their children. “Perfection is a shield against vulnerability, but vulnerability is the birthplace of love, growth, and transformation.” When parents show vulnerability by owning their mistakes, they create space for both themselves and their children to grow.
When Should Parents Apologize to Their Child?
1. When Acting Out of Emotion or Speaking Hurtfully
All parents can experience moments of frustration or stress. However, yelling, using hurtful words, or speaking harshly to a child requires an apology. This shows that while intense emotions are human, the way we handle them matters. Apologizing after an emotional outburst not only repairs the relationship but also becomes an opportunity to teach children about emotional regulation. We don’t teach children to suppress emotions, but to manage them appropriately.
2. When Making Unfair Judgments or Accusations
Parents may sometimes jump to conclusions or blame a child without knowing the full story. Once they realize their mistake, it’s important to apologize and clarify the misunderstanding. This demonstrates the importance of seeking the truth before making judgments.
3. Parents Should Apologize to their Child When Breaking Promises or Trust
Failing to keep promises—big or small—can affect a child’s sense of trust. Apologizing in these moments shows that the parent values and respects the child’s trust.
4. When Failing to Provide Support in Critical Moments
Sometimes, parents may miss important opportunities to support their child—due to busyness, distraction, or other obligations. Acknowledging and apologizing for not being present when needed is a crucial step in healing emotional wounds and strengthening the relationship.
5. When Making Decisions That Affect the Child’s Daily Life
Parental decisions—like moving homes, changing schools, or going through a separation—can deeply affect a child’s sense of stability. Children may feel voiceless in decisions that reshape their lives. Acknowledging the difficulty and apologizing for the emotional impact helps children process these major changes.
Owning up to mistakes and being willing to apologize to your child doesn’t diminish your authority as a parent. On the contrary, it offers powerful lessons in responsibility, honesty, and mutual respect.
Originally published on theAsianParent Thailand
