Anong mga bedtime routine niyo?
Laro sa phone. Netflix. Shopee. Facebook.Gawaing bahay. Work.
Ilan lang ito sa mga usual na ginagawa natin bago tayo matulog. Guilty kami ni Mark dito sa totoo lang. Most of the time kasi pag tulog na ang kids, kanya-kanya na kaming “me time”.
But we realized that even our bedtime routine may cause our marriage to thrive or just survive. In fact, the quality of the bedtime routine of a married couple may indeed be an accurate indicator of the quality of their marriage relationship.
Don’t get me wrong. Hindi ako nanghihimasok sa mga bedtime routine ninyo. BUT we want to share the differences that we’ve experienced when we decided to develop these 7 bedtime routines. Ito ang 7 na payo ko sa mga mag-asawa.
7 bedtime routines
1. Goodnight gadgets
Pagpahingahin din natin ang mga gadgets natin. Aminin natin nakaka-tempt talaga magbabad sa phone. Games, Pinterest, Netflix, Shopee, Lazada, Facebook groups, Youtube at iba pa. Before we knew it, hating gabi na.
Payo ko sa mga mag-asawa pwede naman mag-gadget. Pero once pareho na kaming nasa bed, goodbye gadget na kami and hello hubby/wifey na kami. Let’s do our marriage a favor and just switch off the gadgets.
Larawan mula sa iStock
2. Get to bed together
‘Yung isa nagwo-work pa, ‘yung isa nauna na sa bed. O kaya ‘yung isa naglalaba pa, ‘yung isa nakahiga na. Pagtagpuin niyo naman ang oras na magsasama kayo sa bed.
Pwede pa rin namin humabol ng work o gawaing bahay basta set a time na pareho na kayong hihiga. Hindi ‘yung naging lifestyle o habit na ‘yung hindi kayo nagkakatagpo sa bed.
Bedtime is one of the most important and special times of the day, so if you aren’t together then it probably means you aren’t together much at other times either.
Going to bed together, and not too late, is a conscious decision you can make to show each other that you choose togetherness rather than the slow drift of living separate lives which can happen so subtly.
So yes, make a conscious effort.
3. Don’t just converse, communicate
Magkasama kami ni Mark sa bahay most of the time even before quarantine pero dahil ang work niya ay nasa bahay, minsan kapag gabi na lang talaga kami nakakapagusap ng walang commercial. Kapag gising pa kasi ang tatlo naming anak, hindi kami talaga makapagusap ng maayos.
Kaya naman lahat ng deep conversations, ‘yung tunay na kamustahan, mga joys and concerns namin for the day, mga highlights and lowlights, lahat ‘yun sa gabi na namin napaguusapan kapag himbing na ang bagets.
Communication is one of the primary factors which keep a marriage relationship strong and close. No wonder lack of communication is also a major reason for the breakdown of relationships. So talk, talk, talk, and more importantly, listen carefully to each other.
4. Get ready all day
Once you start enjoying this bedtime routine you may actually find yourself looking forward to it all day long. After all, the best foreplay is what happens before you get into the bedroom.
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How you can get ready throughout the day? Send a sweet text message kahit nasa magkabilang room lang kayo. Hubby, mag-offer ka man lang tumulong sa tupiin kahit brief mo man lang tupiin mo. Wifey, ipagtimpla mo ng kape kahit hindi mag-request.
There are soooooo many practical things that you can do to show that you care. Kapag nandoon na kayo sa point na you do loving and thoughtful things sa isa’t isa araw-araw, by the time you get into the bedroom in the evening, you will both know for sure that you are loved, wanted and desired.
BASAHIN:
5 dapat gawin para hindi makaapekto ang pagkakaiba ng ugali ng mag-asawa sa pagsasama
STUDY: 12 common mistakes na nakakasira sa relasyong mag-asawa
Sleeping position ng mag-asawa, pahiwatig ng matatag na pagsasama
5. Find new ways to touch
Noon magkadikitan lang kayo ng siko, kilig na kilig na kayo. Ngayon, nagkabanggaan na ang buong katawan niyo wala pa rin kayong ma-feel.
Kailangang maging intentional sa paghipo este touch. When was the last time you hold each other’s hand? Tap each other’s shoulder? Hug each other passionately randomly? Gave each other a massage?
When was the last time nagpaluan kayo ng pwet? Hindi ba’t minsan e nagsisimula ang lahat sa isang touch?
Enjoy the privilege and blessing of intimacy and sex as much as possible in your marriage relationship. Regalo ni Lord ‘yan sating mga may asawa.
6. Pray together
It doesn’t matter kung anong religion niyo. Ang mahalaga pareho kayong may relasyon kay Lord. Don’t forget to say a prayer together. Hindi kailangang mahaba. Basta galing sa puso, okay na okay na ‘yun.
A wise person once said that the couple who prays together stays together.
7. Never sleep without a goodnight kiss
Larawan mula sa iStock
Sa ‘min namin ni Mark ‘yan ang indication niya kapag may tampo ako. Hindi ko makuhang mag-kiss talaga. Siyempre bibigay naman ako kapag humalik na siya. Isang halik lang niya, tanggal lahat ng tampo ko.
Kahit may hindi kami pagkakasunduan, kahit maghapon kaming pagod, kahit super stress and consumed kami, kahit anong mangyari, we make sure to kiss each other goodnight.
Lagi kaming may thinking na baka huling goodnight kiss na namin ito sa isa’t isa. Even if you don’t say it in so many words, a kiss will convey the message that you enjoyed being with them today.
That you wish them a peaceful night’s sleep, that you will be there throughout the night, and that whatever the day may hold in the morning, you will be there to face it with them.
Kaya naman payo ko sa mga mag-asawa make it a habit.
You’ll notice a big difference.