Brave, strong and indestructible!
That’s who I am.
Four long years of trying to conceive and finally — our PCOS/rainbow baby will soon to be with us.
Here’s my pregnancy journey.
I was diagnosed with PCOS last 2019 even though my period comes every month.
And since my husband and I are trying to conceive my OB prescribed me with some meds to help trigger my ovulation. We have our monthly check up and ultrasound to see if my eggs were good. My hubby is all good, sperm count is okay. So the problem is me and my PCOS.
It’s kinda frustrating every month, it seems like nothing’s is working. Every time my menses came, I cried to the Lord. “Lord,how long do I have to wait?” ” Will I ever get pregnant?”
After a year, I stop seeing my OB… I said to myself,if the Lord wills then I will get pregnant.
May 2021– my period didn’t came. At first I am afraid to test because I don’t want to fail.2 weeks after my expected period I tested and it came out positive. I thought it was just because of my PCOS, so I didn’t believe it. I still continue to do chores at home, lifting heavy objects, normal office work, etc. I experience spotting so I thought period is coming.. but it remains as few drops of blood for a week. So I tested again.Pregnancy kit says two lines still. I had my hopes. Am I really pregnant?
I did a serum test, and when it’s confirmed positive, I already told my husband.
Atlast, we are having a baby. We are so happy. God hears our prayers. I am pregnant!
I went to my OB for check up.She did a scan. My bleeding is due to a subchorionic hemorrhage. There was a gestational sac in my womb of about 5 weeks AOG but there’s no baby. She suggested to have a follow up scan after 2 weeks. I was advise to have a bed rest for the time being as well with some meds to help the baby stay.
I followed OB’s instructions, took all the prescriptions and stayed in bed.
But after a week,I woke up with a lots blood in my undies, bleeding becomes heavier.. with big red clots. I was so sad, I know those clots could have been my baby.
I went to see my OB again,she did a scan to see what happened inside. The baby’s gone. I had a miscarriage. It was one of the saddest moment of my life. We have been trying, then it came,then it’s gone. I just don’t understand why? I mourned for the loss of our baby . My husband is not showing his sadness but I know deep inside he feels sad too.He keeps me strong by always telling me the verse in the Bible found in Job 1:21 saying, The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. I keep holding to that verse that the Lord will give again. That I will be pregnant again.
The same routine follows. Monthly check up, scans, meds,etc. And again more failures and frustrations to me. Until one day, my PCOS is gone. It gives me hope. I may not be pregnant yet but my ovaries are now normal. What a relief!
Monthly check up continues, until such time that my OB refers me to a fertility doctor. But then nothing has changed, it’s like going back to step one. But I didn’t give up.. monthly scan, fertility visits and this time HCG shots to trigger my ovulation. It’s quite expensive but still we have done all we could just for me to be pregnant. And it’s very frustrating that after all the efforts and money you spent,still nothing. Tried ovulation kits, watch closely my calendar, religiously took meds and still nothing! Until one day, I get tired again. I stop seeing my fertility doctor last May 2022. I get jealous every time I saw mommy’s posting their positive pregnancy test, their pregnancy journey, their gender reveal, their baby showers,etc. Here I am childless despite all that we have done.
I ask my husband to adopt. His answer is still the same, The Lord will give us baby just wait. But I am tired of waiting. I’m tired of crying. It hurts a lot. But I hold on to the Bible verse my husband said before. The Lord gives and the Lord has taken away, and the Lord will again!
I can’t believe that last September the Lord fulfills his promise. I was 3 days delayed and I tested. Those 2 lines were the most beautiful lines I’ve ever seen during that time. My husband and I jumps for joy. We confirmed through serum test. And went to the OB after few days.
Based on my LMP my baby is about 5 weeks. I was advise to have a scan after 2 weeks. Omg!there was a heart beat. I cried when the doctor showed me the screen pointing on the tiny wing like structure that beats. My baby is alive this time.
But again I was advised for bed rest because there is a small opening in my cervix and I have uterine contractions. I was prescribed meds – progesterone to help keep the baby inside. After 2 weeks, I had my scan again,the opening close a bit but contractions are still there. Doctor said that’s fine as long as the opening did not progress.
Everyday is a miracle.I am now 16 weeks pregnant. The fear that I may lose the baby is still there. But I am holding on to the Gods promises that when the time is right,he will make it happen.Indeed, he did!
I survived PCOS, overcame miscarriage and now waiting for my rainbow miracle soon. To God be the glory glory.