Do you find yourself in the position of intensely wanting or being completely averse to sex after delivery? You aren’t alone! Thanks to your hormones, you may be experiencing a roller-coaster ride of emotions, desires, and cravings that rival your early pregnancy months.
Don’t fret, ladies! Here we list ten things you should know about having sex after giving birth. Keep in mind that these are mostly generic advice and common medical knowledge. If you think that you might have problems or are still nervous, please ask your doctor right away!
How long after giving birth can you have sex
Six to eight weeks is usually the correct waiting time.
Giving birth is traumatic to a woman’s body. Whether you’ve undergone a C-section or normal delivery, you need your wounds to heal. Six weeks is usually enough time to let your torn perineum or your C-section sutures heal. If you want to try having sex sooner and you think your boy is up for it, ask your doctor!
First time having sex after giving birth
Expect pain during intercourse
Even if your sutures down there have healed, there are a lot of reasons for intercourse to hurt. Breastfeeding usually sucks all the moisture from your body, so expect your natural lubrication to lessen.
This makes you prone to abrasions and cuts down there during intercourse. Counteract this by making sure you have a water-based lubricant for you and your husband.
Leaky boobies!
Breastfeeding moms, has your milk ever leaked just when things were getting good? The same hormones are released when you climax and when you breastfeed.
It’s best to talk with your partner first if this is actually a turn-on or something you want to avoid. If it’s the latter, a maternity bra or a breast pump session may be in order before sex.
Your vagina may never be the same again
This is something mothers don’t want to hear, but it’s unfortunately the truth. Your vagina can be loose after giving birth and can take months to get back to its normal tightness.
Even then, it may not be as tight as before. Kegels can get you back into shape but some doctors say that you could be suffering from pelvic organ prolapse, especially if you experience pain during intercourse. If something doesn’t feel right, always go to the doctor.
You can feel incredibly horny or incredibly un-sexy or both!
The hormone rollercoaster doesn’t stop at weird body functions and vaginal lubrication. Other women don’t even want to think about sex for the next few months, but some do feel sexier after giving birth. Talk to your husband about changes and look for support.
Having sex too early after deliver can give you an infection
If your perineum tear or sutures haven’t healed yet and you attempt intercourse, you may get an infection. Some women may have post-partum complications or conditions that cause them to heal slowly.
Ask your gynecologists if your stitches have healed so you know that it’s safe. Otherwise, you may be setting yourself up for a less pleasant trip to the hospital.
You aren’t to blame for your lowered libido
You should instead look to your sleep deprivation, the pile of dirty baby clothes, the diapers that need to be thrown out, your weird food cravings, and a million other small things that make you even more exhausted. For all you know, your husband may be feeling just like you.
The male hormone vasopressin helps your husband bond with your child and you as a mother, so you may both be feeling that sex isn’t high on your priority list at this time.
You may be experiencing postpartum depression
If your feelings of restlessness, anxiety, sadness, and loneliness are sometimes too much to handle, aversion to intercourse can simply be one of the symptoms of postpartum depression.
If left alone, this could make you depressed for many years. Talk to your husband and doctor about how you feel so they can help.
Sex after delivery precautions
After delivery, the sex will be different. According to a short study published in 2005, 83 percent of women had sexual issues in the first three months after giving birth.
However, as the post-pregnancy months pass, that number continues to decrease.
The following are the most typical concerns with sex after delivery:
- perineal tear or episiotomy
- soreness
- fatigue
- vaginal dryness
- bleeding
- pain
- “loose” muscles
- thin vaginal tissue
- loss of elasticity in vaginal tissue
- low libido
If you're breastfeeding, hormonal fluctuations may cause your vagina to become dry and sensitive. If you're recovering from an episiotomy or perineal tears, you can feel some discomfort during sex.
To make sex more comfortable:
- Look for pain relief. Empty your bladder, take a warm bath, or take an over-the-counter pain medicine ahead of time to help ease the pain. If you feel a burning sensation later, cover the area with ice wrapped in a tiny towel.
- Make use of lubrication. If you have vaginal dryness, this may be beneficial.
- Experiment. Consider massage, oral sex, or mutual masturbation as alternatives to vaginal intercourse. Tell your lover what makes you happy – and what makes you unhappy.
- Make time. Set aside time for sex when you're not too tired or anxious.
If sex continues to be painful, consult your healthcare provider about possible treatment options.
Is bleeding during sex normal?
As your uterus heals in the weeks after childbirth, you'll probably experience some consistent bleeding. Additional blood loss may occur as a result of sex.
Similarly, in the weeks following childbirth, your vagina may feel drier and more sensitive. This thins the muscles, putting them at risk of tearing or damage. It's possible that the vaginal area will become inflamed and swollen. Bleeding is typical in these situations.
Consult your doctor if the sex-related bleeding does not cease or worsen after four to six weeks. You could have a tear or irritation that needs to be treated before you resume intercourse.
How soon after giving birth can you get pregnant
Breastfeeding does not stop you from getting pregnant
You’re going to start ovulating before your first post-partum period whether you’re breastfeeding or not. This means that if you don’t plan to get pregnant again anytime soon, it’s important that you continue to use protection or birth control methods that your gynecologist recommends.
Having a baby again so soon can be bad for your body
Sure, there are women who just pop one out every other year and still look amazing (we’re looking at you, Ina Raymundo and Heidi Klum). But you may be putting yourself and your future children at risk for complications if you don’t let your body recover first.
This means that you have to discuss birth control methods with your husband and your gynecologist. There’s also nothing wrong about waiting longer than six weeks before you start having sex again.
No matter how many mothers you talk to, they’ll always have different stories about sex after pregnancy. You’ll probably have a unique (and fun!) story to tell as well. Don’t stress over it too much.
Sometimes, you don’t even need sex; just a little intimacy and connection through a hug, kissing or a touch can be enough until it’s time to jump back in the sack.
Are you having trouble getting back in the groove with your partner after giving birth? Share your story below and let's discuss!
Updates by Margaux Dolores
Here at theAsianparent Philippines, it's important for us to give information that is correct, significant, and timely. But this doesn't serve as an alternative for medical advise or medical treatment. TheAsianparent Philippines is not responsible to those that would choose to drink medicines based on information from our website. If you have any doubts, we recommend to consult your doctor for clearer information.