Sex is an essential ingredient of marriage.
That is what I’m told when I ask married couples about what they think of sex. However, there are couples who say that their sex life has declined for the past years of their marriage compared to when they first engaged in it.
For some, they no longer think it is exciting and enjoyable. Others do it just for the sake of having sex. Sad, isn’t it? So, how do you perk things up? I did a little research and I found 20 ways for married men and women to add a little more excitement to their marriage.
1. Be physically fit. Just the image of getting down and dirty with someone who resembles a couch turns me off (because of the sloppiness displaced)! Exercise is very essential. Your enthusiasm and vitality is dependent on how healthy you are, physically, psychologically and emotionally. This is one way to maintain your sex appeal.
2. Be clean and neat. Every couple should be very particular about being neat and clean physically. As much as you don’t want to be doing it with Dirty Henry, he doesn’t want to be doing it with Dirty Henrietta! If you are charitable with your partner, take an effort to take extra care for yourself. Oral care and personal hygiene is very important.
3. Always prepare yourself for anything! Your partner might be into role playing so don’t brush it off if you haven’t tried it. For all you know, he might just be willing to dress up as Indiana Jones (Pace yourself, ladies!).
4. Be romantic as much as you can. Romance should not happen only in bed. You can be romantic in the kitchen, on the couch and even in the bathroom. Just make sure you get those blinds down and send the kids to grandma’s!
5. Be ready and spontaneous. An unexpected sexual intercourse can be more fulfilling than a sexual routine activity during bed time. If your romance ends up with irresistible lovemaking while cooking food for breakfast then that will create excitement in your sex life. It’s like hitting two birds with one stone at the same time. You are preparing food and responding to what your heart desires. Isn’t that great?
6. Be flexible. This is somewhat difficult to achieve as a team player but both of you should exercise flexibility in lovemaking. If the husband is a quick ‘ejaculator’, the wife can help him to make lovemaking intensely longer by taking it slow then back again. There is no magic here. You can learn through experience.
7. Set aside special and intimate time with each other. Whether you are busy or not, married couples should give time for themselves! (Secret rule that nobody really tells you about!) For the past three years that I have been married, I have come to realize that giving yourself and your partner a break from daily routine activities of life is essential. Send the kids for a day of fun somewhere (preferably to a place that’ll keep them for a good four hours at least) and spend
8. Discuss your lovemaking activity with your spouse. Come on, now. No need to blush. The key to success in your sex life is to talk it over with your partner. This is where you can understand and listen to your partner’s needs. For all you know, you could be hurting him somewhere and he’s too nice to tell you! Others found it unhealthy to discuss but it is very important. This is where you can express what you like and the things you dislike during sex. Oh, by the way, this is a great way to discover just how much your partner really likes petting and necking from head to toe!
9. Be aware of your partner’s need. Sex is said to be a part of a person’s physiological needs. More often, married couples take this for granted but you should know that needs vary and one important issue to deal with in marriage is to understand the needs of your partner.
10. Don’t force your partner if she doesn’t want to have sex for the time being. It is undeniable that sometimes you are sexually very active but your partner does not want it. Forcing your partner to have is tantamount to rape. Don’t want to cross that line now do you? It is not definitely healthy for your marriage (especially when she complains and you find yourself locked up!)
11. Start to turn the heat on through foreplay. It is very important that your wife is physically prepared and emotionally comfortable. Guys, take note: most women enjoy this the most.
12. Do everything that makes your partner enjoy the time. In bed, there are no such things as good moral and right conduct. As long as your partner likes what you are doing and both of you are enjoying, then go for it!
13. Engage with your partner as if it is your first time. Your partner should sense that you are excited and that you have the energy to make that sex activity fulfilling for both of you. Excitement is what makes lovemaking something that is more desirable than anything else.
14. Don’t force your partner to do something that she is uncomfortable with. Instead talk it out. You may be unknowingly hurting her in a certain place that she is too shy to bring up.
15. New Positions! Try something that you have never tried before. If you know twenty positions, there are still twenty more positions you can still learn. You and your partner should discover it not for the sake of discovery but for the sake of new adventures in lovemaking. Aside from that, you need to change positions from time to time. If you and your partner are tired after the day’s work but still have energy for sex, you can still try more positions as you like.
16. Be confident with yourself. Are you confident enough to stand in front of your partner naked? Do you still have the apprehension about your body physique that your partner may criticise? That issue must be dealt with accordingly. Sure it’s easy to escape by turning the lights off but you’ll be surprised at how encouraging partners can be about imperfections!
17. Discover how to experience orgasms simultaneously. It is more satisfying that the wife experiences the first orgasm followed by the husband. But it is more fulfilling if both of you reach the orgasms simultaneously. It can be disgusting if the husband experiences peak first. It’s considered a failure on the part of the husband to bring his partner to orgasmic pedestal. The husband should consider what is fulfilling on the part of his wife. In lovemaking, the welfare of your partner should be taken into consideration.
18. Make variability a lovemaking rule. It should not only happen in the bedroom, it’s boring! Do it on the floor, against the wall, at the kitchen counter, at the comfort room, on the table, on the roof deck, or at the attic. It can be done anywhere as long as that sex activity is kept sacred! And make sure nobody is watching, You don’t want to end up on Stomp, do you?
19. Make sex a thrilling adventure. Experience orgasm at its peak, a second before the mother-in-law catches you or before the kids wake up in the morning. Risk brings about excitement! Just make sure you get in that extra second. You don’t want to spend a lifetime of discomfort in front of the mother-in-law or pay for the kids’ therapy sessions!
20. Keep this as your motto: Make the lovemaking experience tomorrow better than yesterday. This is what makes you and your partner desire for something good to happen in your sex life!