All parents, at one point or another, will have to deal with taming their child’s tantrums. It can get frustrating, but there are ways you can deal with it effectively. Sometimes, all it takes a simple technique, done with firmness and consistency, which is in line with one’s parenting style.
Take actress/TV host and single mom Bettina Carlos, for example. In her column for the Manila Times, she shares some tips on how her 6-year-old Gummy is growing up to be well-behaved and mature for her age. Part of it is her tried and tested calming technique when Gummy has tantrums: simply walking away.
This discipline method has worked for the mom and it also inspires positive coping techniques from her daughter.
“She should learn that making a scene would never get her what she wants,” wrote Bettina, adding that this establishes that crying or lashing out is not the way. “When she is calmer, ask her what she wants and give it right away. By doing so, she will learn that she only needs to ask properly to receive whatever it is that she wants.”
photos: Bettina Carlos Instagram
Parent coach Dr. Erica Reischer echoes Bettina’s parenting style, writing about how parents should model the behavior they want their kids to exhibit. If they use yelling to get a point across or to demand good behavior in their kids, then it might teach them that using a loud voice or showing anger is a way to get their way.
For parents to be “instruments of change”, change should begin with them.
While setting limits on your child’s aggressive behavior is important, especially if they start kicking or scratching, it’s also important to soothe them when needed.
Tantrums as a form of protest
However, parenting expert Meri Wallace believes in a different approach. She urges parents to know the importance of acknowledging tantrums as a child’s “form of protest”. At age 0-3, in particular, kids don’t have the ability to fully express themselves. This is a crucial period where trust is built between the parent and child.
When a child throws a fit they are overwhelmed by emotions they can’t fully express. so Wallace believes it’s best not to leave them alone during this vulnerable time.
Though both methods have their merits, it’s up to parents to determine which way to best manage tantrums, while still building a loving, trusting relationship with their kids through all the crucial stages in their development.
READ: Single mom Bettina Carlos opens up about cancer scare in 2016
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