Being a stay-at-home dad is often not easy to go through. Especially with the culture in Indonesia where a father is considered obligated to work outside the home. Various stereotypes arise when a father decides to stay at home to take care of the children and household.
There is no data yet revealing how many stay-at-home dads there are in Indonesia because it is still considered taboo. Meanwhile, according to ABC News, data from the U.S. Census Bureau shows that the number of stay-at-home dads in the United States has reached 98,000. This number continues to increase each year.
Meanwhile, in a survey conducted by CareerBuilder, some respondents said they would want to stay at home to take care of their children if they could. Just as many mothers wish to continue their careers after marriage, it turns out there are also many fathers who want to be close to their children at home.
5 Stereotypes Faced by Stay-at-Home Dads
Even though being a stay-at-home dad is perfectly acceptable, in reality, many stereotypes are still directed at fathers who choose this path. Here are some common stereotypes faced by stay-at-home dads:
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Lazy to Work
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Fathers who choose to stay at home are still often seen as lazy and unwilling to work. They are considered slackers who just relax at home and sacrifice their wives’ happiness. The image of a father lounging around while playing on his gadget lingers in the minds of those unfamiliar with the concept of a stay-at-home dad.
This stereotype can be challenged if the father takes on agreed-upon responsibilities at home with his wife. Discuss a division of household tasks that is fair and manageable for both parties.
This not only helps keep the house tidy but also sets an example for the children that both women and men should be independent and capable of doing all household chores.
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Stay-at-Home Dads Are Seen as Unwilling to Provide for the Family
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In addition to being seen as lazy, stay-at-home dads are also viewed as irresponsible for not wanting to provide for the family. Traditionally, fathers have been seen as the breadwinners. So it may seem strange when the father stays at home while the mother works outside. However, both fathers and mothers are equally capable of earning a living.
That said, it’s also important to discuss the division of the breadwinner role with your partner. Neither party should feel burdened. If the mother feels uncomfortable being the sole provider, there are still many jobs the father can do from home, such as becoming a private tutor or selling goods.
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Unable to Take Care of Children
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For most people, fathers are seen as incapable of taking care of children—especially when the child is still very young and not yet independent. Many believe that fathers can’t change diapers, bathe the child, handle tantrums, or feed them. But in reality, there are many fathers who are fully capable of taking care of their children.
Some fathers are even acknowledged to be better at child-rearing than the mother. And that is perfectly okay. Children belong to both the father and the mother, and they should be cared for together. Therefore, every father—whether staying at home or working in an office—should be able to take care of their children.
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Not Fit to Handle Household Chores
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For many people in our society, it still seems strange to see a father doing household chores. Fathers are considered unfit to sweep, mop, cook, or do the laundry. Yet, when living together in a shared home, household responsibilities should naturally be done together.
Nowadays, more and more fathers are becoming aware that doing housework is not solely the wife’s responsibility. As a result, many fathers are happily taking on these tasks.
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Stay-at-Home Dads Are Considered Unemployed
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Fathers who are always seen at home are often considered unemployed. Stay-at-home dads are also frequently assumed to be doing it out of necessity because they are jobless and have no other choice. However, especially since the pandemic era, working no longer has to mean going into an office.
There are many types of jobs that can be done from home, such as being a stock trader, designer, writer, or online seller. So being a stay-at-home dad doesn’t mean being jobless. Many fathers have already found success running businesses from home.
So, those are the five common stereotypes about stay-at-home dads. Whatever a father’s choice may be—staying at home or working at the office—it’s best to always discuss it with your partner. Find an agreement on how to divide family responsibilities so that no one feels overwhelmed or burdened.
Originally published on theAsianparent Indonesia
