It was my last semester in college when my then boyfriend who’s now my husband and I decided to live on the same roof. I have been delayed shortly a month after, but when I took the pregnancy test, it’s a negative. We never bothered too much since it often happens to me because I am anemic.
The next month, I have been delayed, twice month in a row, but the pregnancy test results was once again negative. We didn’t take it too much to heart and carry on like we usually do. But, we’re seeing signs like I overslept and I took a nap every chance I got. I peed often than usual too.
It was first of March, 2020, when we decided to have another pregnancy test since I have been delayed continuously for three months. And there we saw that two lines. I do not know how I felt that exact moment, if I am scared or excited or both. But when I see my hubby so elated and jumping in joy, I felt assured that no matter what’ll happen on the coming months, I know I won’t go through it alone. I still continued to go to school even after knowing there’s a living being inside me, only disclosing the fact to my advisor and few close friends.
It took us a week to save every courage we had and told about it to our parents. I just turned 23 that time and my baby’s dad was 4 years older than me. My mom was mad at first because I haven’t graduated yet, but in the end said she can’t do anything about it. His parents are in the province and told us to tell them if we need anything.
We waited until weekend when I don’t have classes before having our first check up. There we saw the little bean so small and we heard his heartbeat for the first time. I cannot explain the feeling, but I saw the joy in my hubby’s eyes.
Shortly a week after, nCoV-19 broke out and the Philippines was on lockdown. The school also paused the classes. I suffered severe morning sickness I can’t even eat anything without vomiting it after. My sister in law who was also pregnant at that time was living with us but had to move out because we have opposite food tastes and we’re both having difficulties in our pregnancy. Since there is lockdown, we have to book appointments weeks before during checkups and have to wait while queue on the car for hours because of social distancing.
To make the matter worse, my father-in-law died a month after lockdown. He’s been coma for three days before he stopped breathing. The lockdown and the health protocols isn’t getting better by the day. We’ve been having financial difficulties since then.
Almost three months after the declaration of lockdown, our school decided to continue our classes online. We’re having difficulties learning the system and everything but we have to cope up. Since we are a graduating class that time, we had our feasibility studies conducted online because of health protocols.
I do not go out unless I get my checkup. There are plenty of don’ts than do’s. As my belly started to grow, my morning sickness had lessened but there are still a lot to think about.
We have discovered our baby boy’s gender during my sixth month of pregnancy. I had experienced crying over little things because of my pregnancy hormones. I got so stressed and having hair falls.
I didn’t know how I got past through college without the help of my teachers, friends and group mates. I’ve become so thin, eating so little so I could give birth normally. I’ve had so many sleepless nights crying a lot. My group mates had to take care of our feasibility studies themselves because I have to give birth on the day when we need to pass the revisions.
Looking back, I have realized that what may seem hard at the present moment doesn’t stay. We came past through it and we survived. My pregnancy journey has been a roller coaster ride not just physically and emotionally but also everything in between. I have now given birth to a healthy baby boy, and graduated with flying colors. What may seem difficult now do not last. Just keep calm and persevere. Pressure is always an opportunity to grow. Everything that happens do not happen to you but for you. From the day I give birth, I have become a woman.
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