One of the unspoken rules in friendship and dating - never date your best friend's ex. But what if doing so will make you happy? Read this unique love story from one of our TAP moms.
In her story, you'll read:
- Does dating your best friend's ex make you a bad friend?
- Can a friendship survive in this scenario?
I married my friend and my best friend's ex. I felt like an outcast way back in college and it took a lot of ups and downs before I became happily married with a 4-month-old baby now.
Our unique love story
In college, you meet a lot of people, especially in your first year. Despite being shy and preferring to keep to myself most of the time, I still gained a lot of friends.
At the start of the school year, there was this guy who would talk to me a lot, but I didn't pay attention to him because I really wasn't interested in men at that time.
When the second semester started, more students transferred to our school and that's when I hit it off with people I could consider as my best friends. When we became sophomores, one of my closest friends and the guy I mentioned earlier became a couple.
I was happy to see my friends coupled up while me and the rest of my single friends enjoyed hanging out with them every now and then. It was indeed a happy college life.
After some time, my best friend and the guy she was seeing started having problems. They broke up, got together again, but still ended up calling it quits After that, we hung out separately.
I and another friend got a chance to bond and spend more time with the ex. We hung out, watched movies, traveled together. To make the story short, we became closer to each other.
A few months passed, but he didn't stop contacting me, asking if when can we go out again, where should we go next, stuff like that. The thoughts entered my mind, "Bakit parang iba sya mag-chat?"
When I went back to my hometown and didn't go back to my boarding house after our sem break, he kept on asking me "Kailan ka babalik?" And while he didn't directly say that he liked me, I kind of got the confirmation that he did.
I guess he saw something in me that he didn't see in his previous relationships. Maybe because we started out as friends. One time, after we went to the mall, we went straight to visit his mother and I just came in not knowing that I will be mistaken as his "new girlfriend."
It was like that for a while - almost everyone around us thought that we were in a relationship. I kept telling my friends that we weren't. He asked me once if there's a chance and I said no.
Being judged for something I didn't do
I didn't want anyone to accuse me of being the reason for their break up because I was not. And yes, I was judged. Because of this, I chose to distance myself from some of our friends during our breaks.
Some of them believed me. He and some of our classmates asked me to join them every break time and I agreed. They kept reassuring me that "It's okay," "Their relationship is over," "It's not because of you," "You're doing fine," and I was so grateful to them for comforting me during those times.
To my surprise, my best friend, the one who had a relationship with him, wrote me a letter telling me that she wants us to be okay and that we shouldn't waste our friendship for that reason. Because of that, I started to regain myself.
READ MORE:
"Because of LDR, hanggang chat lang ang relasyon naming mag-asawa"
As time went by, I realized that I shouldn't be hard on myself. I told myself I should be happy. I deserved to be happy. When I allowed myself to do that, I started to feel different.
As for the guy, he stayed with me, being nice to me as usual, but this time, it was clear to us that we doesn't want us to be "just friends."
He was there when I was having a hard time dealing with family matters. Before we graduated, I finally said yes to being a couple. There wasn't a specific date though because it just like a mutual agreement between us.
Our relationship got stronger and we couldn't be happier. I am glad that he is finally happy. I never thought it would be me. I've seen him in his previous relationships and I knew what he went through. I was there. During that time, I remember thinking, "I want tomake him happy." I'm glad that I was able to do that. I'm thankful for everyone that comforted me when I really need it.
Our happy ending
Fast forward, we've been together for a few years, living together and both financially stable when a great blessing came into our lives. I learned that I was 3 months pregnant.
We got married one month later. It was a civil wedding and the reception was held in a resort. It was a simple yet solemn wedding organized by my mother-in-law.
We were so happy to have everyone's blessing on our wedding. Our family supported us in our decision. Our friends also came and they were so happy for us. His ex even took a video of us walking towards the entrance and then after the wedding she personally told us that she was also happy.
Last June 16, I gave birth to our baby boy. It was the happiest day of our lives. My husband was there the moment I gave birth and I saw how happy he was. Every day that I see him happy also makes me happy. I am glad I accepted him into my life and we fought to be with each other. Now, we are a happy family.
Every month, we invite our friends to our baby's monthly celebration. My best friend also met her newly found love and we are so happy for her. Our circle of friends will be our baby's godmothers and godfathers on his upcoming baptism on his 1st birthday.
My experience made me believe that "Everything really happens for a reason", and "What is meant to be will always find its way".