Can one-sided love become true love? Read this heartbreaking story of unrequited love from one of our TAP moms.
What can you read in this article?
- Reconnecting with her high school crush after 15 years
- The truth about unrequited love
When I was in high school, I had a one-sided love with one of my classmates. I never expected that after 15 years, he’d finally love me back.
In our class, he was the quiet, brooding type, but was extremely talented when it comes to drawing, sketching, and painting. I was boyish, goofy, but someone who didn’t want anyone feeling left out. So every day, I made it a habit to check on this boy who always sits on the corner alone. The more I got to know him, the more I became fond of him. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I had a big crush on this guy.
Soon, the whole class, including him, knew about it! But it’s either he wasn’t interested in me, or his mind was just focused on something else that our last year of high school (the year was 2003) ended with my feelings unreciprocated.
After graduating high school, my classmates and I still kept in touch, having reunions every now and then. But we hardly got any news about him. Soon, social media made it easier for people to reconnect. We tried adding his account, but it was inactive.
Meanwhile, I’ve moved on with my life. I graduated college, started working, got into a relationship, had a son, and became a single mom — never thinking that 15 years after graduating high school, I would find a video post of him on Instagram doing a sketch.
Reconnecting with my high school crush
“Ang galing mo pa rin talaga!” that was my comment on his post.
To my surprise, he finally responded. That’s when we started catching up on a decade and a half of our lives. He told me about how his mind was filled with responsibilities and family issues even when we were in high school. How he had to work while studying and had her younger sisters finish college.
He never had a girlfriend. He put all his personal interests behind him so his family would have a better life. It is only now, in his 30s, that he is able to do things for himself, and go back to the hobbies he used to love.
My admiration for this man was revived as I got reminded of how kindhearted he was. This was still the same boy from high school that I fell in love with. We started messaging and seeing each other. And just before that year (2018) ended, we became a couple.
When our classmates learned about it, they were in awe! What are the chances that I’d end up being in a relationship with the man who was the center of my attention way back then? Even I was in disbelief. As we dated, the more I saw how patient, humble, and kind he was. He was also on very good terms with my son which was a major plus! We started to think about our future together. We were not getting any younger anyway.
Do opposites attract in love? What to do when you and your spouse have clashing personalities
REAL STORIES: “I married my best friend’s ex-boyfriend.”
3 things single moms can learn from heartbreaks
The reality of unrequited love
But as romantic as the thought of unrequited love is, the truth is that it’s just like any relationship. It’s not as smooth-sailing as one would hope, just like in the movies.
When we started, we had a lot of difficult times that at first we attributed to the fact that he has never been in a relationship. He was used to keeping things to himself and doing things alone.
I thought it would get better in time, but instead, the opposite happened. His introverted personality made it hard for him to communicate openly whereas I wanted to be involved in his daily life. We dealt with problems differently – he wanted to take time first, while I was more confrontational.
Our difference in religion wasn’t an issue at first but because we didn’t talk about it much, misunderstandings happened along the way. The pandemic didn’t help as well as we are more than 50km away from each other with no safe way to be together. Our love languages, which are physical touch and quality time, were not being met, and being away from each other became really challenging for us especially we seldom communicate. We were drifting apart, so before we reached our 3rd anniversary (2021), we decided to end it.
Ours was not an unrequited love anymore, it wasn’t one-sided like 15 years ago. But we had so many differences that in the end, it just didn’t work.
It would have been a wonderful fairytale if we got married and had a happy family. But the reality is, life is full of surprises. There are people you thought have already passed in your life, only to reconnect with them again and be part of a chapter in your life more than a decade after. It might not have been a happy ending but I’m still thankful to experience the bittersweet ending to my unrequited love.
May katanungan tungkol sa pagpapalaki ng anak? Basahin ang mga artikulo o magtanong sa kapwa magulang sa aming app. I-download ang theAsianparent Community sa iOS o Android!