For all the work that being a parent is, maintaining a satisfying marriage takes just as much effort. But you know what they say, anything worth doing is worth doing right. So, what makes a happy marriage a happy one after years and years of being parents? Hard work, but luckily for you we’ve come up with a list of ideas on how to keep your marriage fresh, comfortable, secure and full of love.
What makes a happy marriage tip#1: Remember the little things
- Say ‘good morning’ with a smile on your face and warmth in your voice.
- Spend a few minutes together-even if it’s over a cup of coffee or brushing your teeth. It connects you.
- Call your spouse once in the middle of the day to tell them you love them and if necessary, to remind him/her to pick up the kids, a gallon of milk or whatever.
- Stick little notes in each other’s brief cases, make-up drawer, under wear or somewhere else they are sure to see it.
- Decide right here right now to say and do at least one nice thing each day specifically for your spouse. It might be as simple as telling them they look nice and giving the baby his/her bath, but it needs to be something to make them smile.
What makes a happy marriage tip#2: Make the time
- Hire a sitter or trade child care services with friends and go out on a date with your spouse at least every other week.
- Spend at least 20-30 minutes EVERY DAY of uninterrupted time with your spouse talking about whatever you need to talk about but work.
- Okay, so we know we’re too tired and not in the mood for sex every night, but you need to take a few minutes each night when you get into bed to cuddle and just be close.
- Speaking of bed…go to bed together. One of the biggest marriage killers is to go to bed at different times. This may not always be possible depending upon work schedules or sick kids, but whenever it is…do it. NOTE: ‘work schedule’ doesn’t include you staying up late to catch up at home.
- Make sure you ask your spouse about their day and then really listen when they answer.
What makes a happy marriage tip#3: Be loveable
- You don’t have to put on your ‘glam face’ every day, but make an effort to look nice for yourself and your man. You’ll feel better about yourself and that will transfer in feeling better about the two of you.
- Touch your spouse. Hugs and kisses, a pat on the back…
- Don’t nag-if something needs to be done, ask.
- Don’t talk to your spouse as if you are speaking to your children.
- Smile. Let your love show in your facial expressions.
- Initiate sex.
What makes a happy marriage tip#4: What your husband needs from you
- To feel respected–a man equates love with respect.
- To understand that his providing for you and your family is a love language–the one he is most fluent in.
- To know your words can cut like a knife–so use them carefully.
- To know he wants you to care about your appearance.
- To believe in him.
- To not correct his parenting–especially in front of the children.
It’s all too common to put your marriage on the back burner during the hectic years of raising your family. But by doing so, you rob your children of growing up knowing what a healthy marriage is-one they can learn from and take into their future. You also run the risk of not knowing how to be married when the day comes that it is just the two of your once more.
READ: 17 secrets to a lasting marriage
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