It's not your fault
For anyone in a relationship who has experienced being cheated on, or being left for another person, it's one of the worst feelings in the world. And for a married person to experience those feelings, just makes everything a hundred times worse.
Which is why it's important to understand that if your spouse cheated on you, it's not your fault. You're not a bad wife or husband. They are the ones who made the mistake, and it's their fault for letting themselves fall victim to temptation.
Regardless of the situation, as someone who has been betrayed, you should take care of yourself. If you already have kids, then your first priority would be for the kids to be okay, and second would be for you to be okay so that you can take care of the kids.
The ball is in your court
While there are some situations wherein the cheating spouse leaves their partner for someone else, there are also cases wherein the cheating spouse recognizes their mistake and tries to reconcile with their spouse; trying to patch things up and make things work.
However, for someone who has been cheated on, this isn't the easiest thing in the world to do. Forgiving someone can be easy, but learning how to forget, and learning how to trust someone again can be very difficult. Trust is one of the things that's easy to have, but once it gets broken, it's hard to fix.
It's important for kids to have both of their parents, but it's much more important for them to have a healthy family life. And indeed, there are some cases wherein if the parents stay together, they just create a toxic environment for everyone, and that's not good for the kids.
Being the betrayed spouse, the ball is in your court, so it's going to be your call on whether you want to stay in the relationship or not. Just make sure that you choose what's best for you and your kids, that's the most important thing.
Learn from the experience
Whether or not you choose to stay or leave the relationship, the most important thing would be to learn from the experience. Learn that sometimes people make mistakes, learn when to forgive, and learn when to let go. During these times, you'll start to know who your real friends are, and whom you can really trust. Keep those people in your life and you'll be better for it.
Don't let yourself become vengeful or hateful, as those feelings will rub off on your kids, and you do not want to raise kids with that kind of attitude. Use this experience to become a better person, someone who knows what they want in life, and someone who values trust, honesty, and love.
Source: beyondaffairs.com, psychologytoday.com
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