Even the happiest, healthiest marriages are not immune to bouts of uncertainty and insecurity. If you’re a husband reading this, you’re probably having doubts about whether or not your wife is feeling insecure. Here are some signs to watch out for.
1. They ask so many questions about your day
It’s natural for wives to want to be updated about what their partner is doing, but it tends to become excessive when she demands you to spill every detail, even if you’ve only been apart for a few hours. Try to minimize this by telling her what you plan to do for the day or sitting down for dinner to tell her what you’ve been up to. Don’t limit your conversation time. Do this until she gets used to not having to be updated every hour.
2. They refuse to socialize without you
Even if they don’t mean to, a wife who’s insecure will refuse to go to gatherings without you. In public, they go out of their way to show everyone you’re together. Though this may be sweet, it can often turn into “smothering.” Try to make time apart a priority, as this helps you recharge, grow, and appreciate each other’s company more.
3. They’re constantly telling you ‘I love you” and demanding you say it back
Does your wife constantly need reassurance in words and actions? YourTango.com says it may mean they’re not 100% secure in your affection or commitment, but it can also be reflective of some internal issues that need to be dealt with, like feeling unsure they are worthy of love.
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4. They ‘guilt trip’ you for not replying instantly
Those who are always doubting their marriage, need constant communication.
“The insecure [person] tends to be smothering, critical, and jealous,” Joseph Nowinski, Ph.D., clinical psychologist writes in an article Psychology Today.
5. They apologize constantly for simple things
They’re so afraid of messing the relationship up that they tend to say sorry for little things. They have a constant critical voice, which causes them to question every little word or action, worrying how it will affect you or your relationship.
Knowing how to apologize is a sign of humility, so this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Just make sure your wife knows that you’re in this for the long haul, and she should be secure enough not to fear that every little thing will cause you to give up on the life you’re building together.
6. They can’t accept criticism, even if it’s constructive
Naturally, someone who’s insecure struggles with accepting critique, no matter how well-meaning or lovingly it’s delivered. Be patient with your wife, constantly reassure her, knowing that the root of all this is her deep love for you.
She wants to be her best self for you, but it can be difficult to show this with all the internal struggles she may be experiencing. Be there for her, help her navigate her emotions and reassure her your love is all the security she will ever need.
READ: 5 Simple ways to build your wife’s self-esteem instead of putting her down
sources: Bustle, Psychology Today, EHarmony, PsychAlive, Women’s Health