Arguments are a fixture in marital relationships. A marriage wouldn’t be what it is without arguments. In fact, in small does, arguments can be healthy for both parties; it gives both parties a chance to grow and get to know each other deeper.
If in your marriage, however, it’s become the norm, then you’ve got some bad news coming your way.
“In a study that spanned two decades, researchers had married couples come into a lab every five years to rehash their common disagreements in front of a camera,” said a Men’s Health article. “Experts studied their conversations, taking note of their facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice. Then they surveyed the couples about their health.”
Over the 20-year period, the men who argued in a certain manner were more likely to end up with a health problem.
According to the research, 80% of the men who got angry during spats with their wife developed cardiovascular symptoms. These included chest pains, racing heart, and shortness of breath.
Meanwhile, only 53% of the men who stayed calmed during arguments experienced these symptoms.
This happens because when you’re feeling heated, your blood pressure rises and your heart rate speeds up.
Over time, this wears and tears on the heart, spiking the risk for cardiovascular problems, says study author Claudia Haase, Ph.D.
But anger is just one thing; shutting down emotion during such arguments also have consequences.
“Men who shut down emotionally during arguments—avoiding eye contact, ignoring their partners—developed more musculoskeletal symptoms like muscle tension and back pain,” said the Men’s Health report. Nearly half of the guys with these tendencies developed muscle problems, while only 23 percent of emotionally open men did.”
Experts attribute this to the way the body stiffens when stonewalling your partner: muscles in your neck and shoulders grow rigid and tense, increasing the risk for pain over time.
According to Dr. Claudia Haase, the best course of action whenever you’re feeling heated is to take a walk; this interrupts your tendency to shout or to shut down emotions.
Walking will also give you time to calm down and assess the situation better.
READ: The right way to fight with your partner, according to science
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