Before becoming a mom, I cared about a lot of things that, in hindsight, were completely pointless. Now? My priorities have done a complete 180. Some things that used to consume my time and energy barely register anymore, while other things -things I never even thought about – have become everything.
Here’s what’s changed:
Becoming a mom: Things I no longer have the bandwidth for:
1. Being ‘Paiseh’ About Asking for Help
Once upon a time, I’d rather die than ask for a favour. Now? No shame. Need a last-minute babysitter? Asking. Need someone to hold my screaming toddler while I inhale my kopi? Absolutely. I have no time to be polite about survival.
2. Wearing Matching Outfits (or Even Proper Clothes)
Pre-motherhood, I actually thought about my outfits. Now? If my top is clean and my shorts have pockets, it’s a win. Bonus points if I’m wearing socks that match.
3. What Other People Think About My Parenting
Before, I worried about judgment. Oh no, people are staring because my child is throwing a tantrum. Now? I dare them to try wrangling a mini dictator in public. The ones who judge are usually the ones without kids anyway.
4. Being on Time
Once, I was that person who arrived five minutes early. Now, if I make it anywhere within a 30-minute window of the planned time, I consider it an achievement. Have you ever tried leaving the house with a small child? It’s like negotiating with a tiny, unreasonable CEO.
5. Fancy Dining
Michelin-star meals and chic cafés? Cute. But do they have high chairs and an escape route for when my kid loses it? No? Then I’ll stick to places where no one blinks when a fishball lands on the floor.
6. The ‘Perfect’ House
Washed dishes, folded laundry, clutter-free spaces? Sounds amazing. Do I live that life? Absolutely not. My home is in a permanent state of almost cleaned but never quite. And I’ve made peace with it.
Image Source: iStock
7. Instagram-Worthy Holidays
Used to be about curated itineraries and aesthetic shots. Now, I just want a place with a decent kids’ menu and a playground nearby. If my child naps on the plane, that’s my version of luxury.
8. Long, Meaningless Conversations
I used to entertain small talk and long chats with people I didn’t even like. Now? My patience is reserved for my kid’s endless questions about dinosaurs and why the sky is blue.
9. ‘Bouncing Back’ After Birth
This body grew a whole human. If it wants to keep a little souvenir from pregnancy, so be it. Also, what is sleep?
10. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
Seeing friends go out late at night used to make me feel like I was missing something. Now? My biggest FOMO is not getting enough sleep before my child wakes me at 5 AM.
Things that matter more now:
1. My Child’s Laughter
Nothing beats the sound of my kid’s uncontrollable giggles. Absolutely nothing.
2. A Strong, Reliable Support System
Friends who check in, family who helps, a partner who actually pulls his weight. These people are my lifeline.
3. Practical Comfort
Give me good shoes, clothes that can survive spills, and a functional diaper bag. I have no time for ‘fashion pain.’
4. My Own Health (Physical and Mental)
If I’m not okay, my child isn’t okay. So yes, I will take that extra break when I need it.
5. Finding Joy in the Small Things
A hot cup of coffee. Five minutes of silence. A solo trip to the supermarket. These are luxuries now.
6. Teaching My Child Kindness
I don’t care if my kid is the smartest in the room. I care that they’re kind, that they share their snacks, and that they treat people with respect.
7. Sleep (or the Lack of It)
I will take any amount of sleep I can get. Even a power nap in the car feels like a five-star experience.
8. Efficiency Over Perfection
Homemade organic meals? Cute, but sometimes chicken rice takeaway is the best I can do. And that’s okay.
9. Being Present
I’m learning to put down my phone, ignore the mess, and just be there. Because kids grow up fast, and I don’t want to miss it.
10. Loving Myself a Little More
Motherhood is hard. And I may not have it all together, but I’m doing my best. And that’s enough.
So, if you’re a mum who’s wondering when you’ll ever feel like your old self again, chances are, you won’t. But you’ll find a version of yourself that’s stronger, wiser, and, honestly? Gives zero care about the things that don’t matter anymore.
Republish with permission from theAsianparent Singapore
