Bianca Gonzales blogged an open letter to her daughter Lucia. In the long heart-felt note, she details the ups and downs of her experiences as a new mom. Here are some parts of her letter:
You were a very easy baby
I thank the Lord you were a very easy baby in my tummy and you didn’t give me a hard time at all. I only had a few weeks of nausea, but the rest of the pregnancy was a breeze! I continued to work, I worked out, I didn’t really have any crazy cravings, plus I never got sick! I gained just 20 pounds with you in my tummy so it was easy to carry you around. I loved having you in my tummy because your presence calmed me and made me feel I was never alone—literally.
Your name should be Lucia
You were seven and a half months in my tummy when your Abuelito, my dad, passed away… It was such a painful time and you were the one who kept me strong. You were such a brave girl. Even if I cried so much, I felt that you were so strong and that made me strong, too. Knowing that you were the happy thought of your Abuelito during his final days made me so happy. That is when we really decided that your name should be Lucia. Because your name means “light”, and you were definitely the light during that very difficult time.
READ: 10 Beautiful baby names in Cebuano
You were out in the world
It was a Thursday afternoon when I started to feel a different kind of stomach cramp. That night, the contractions got more frequent, they got more intense past midnight, and when I was sure that I was in labor, I took a nice, long, hot bath, put lotion all over, dressed up, and when I was set, I woke up your dad and said, “Its time, let’s go to the hospital.” We got to the hospital at around 8AM, and sure enough, I was 7 centimeters dilated already. By 2PM on October 23, 2015, you were born, as I guessed, at 38 weeks.
…After pushing just eight times, you were out in the world, you gave out that first cry, and you were placed on my chest. Your skin was so red and your cheeks so full! Your daddy was there beside me the whole time, helping me through the delivery. Do you know he even cut your umbilical cord? Yes, he did!
I’m so lucky because you have an awesome daddy. He does everything, helps me with everything, is super hands on, and if only dads could breastfeed, he most probably would, too. As early as now I can see it, the way you two look at each other, you two will be magkakampi when you grow up. Daddy’s girl, no doubt.
READ: Dads: How NOT to assist during pregnancy, labor and delivery
THE toughest job
These first few weeks home have been a rollercoaster! You bring so, so, so much love and joy to your daddy and me, but at the same time, we’re so scared and nervous, so tired and sleepless, and sometimes we feel helpless when you’re fussy and we don’t know why.
It breaks our heart to hear you cry, especially when we can’t make you stop. It fills our heart when you stare straight at us with your big, round eyes. It melts our heart when you give us those big smiles, when you continuously coo as if speaking to us, and when you flash those adorable dimples (which honestly, we don’t know where you got because neither your daddy or I have dimples!)…
I’ve had many, many challenging, difficult and tiring jobs, but being a mother is THE toughest job I’ve ever had to do. Most all mother and baby photos I see or articles I read are about the happiness and laughter.. hardly anyone ever talks about the frustration and the tears. Apparently, motherhood comes with both.
During the tougher days (aka your fussy days), I just think to myself, every single mother on the planet was able to do this, so I can too. I only have one shot at taking care of you every single day, and I hope I’m doing a good enough job, because you deserve nothing but the best. This is the most “trying hard” I’ve ever been my whole life, because I want to be the best mom I can be to you.
Bianca’s letter resonates with all first-time moms
Even though it was written by a celebrity, Bianca’s letter resonates with all first-time moms going through the same roller-coaster ride and climbing up that steep learning curve. Read the full letter here.
Aside from taking a bazillion photos and videos of your baby, writing letters is one way to record memories and feelings. Some moms keep a journal, diary or blog, while others create elaborate scrapbooks.
Some open an email account for their child and send their notes there. Others are too exhausted to write anything and are content with the pictures.
Whichever you find yourself doing, cherish the moments and treasure them in your heart.
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