They say sex is an expression of love, but can love exist where sex does not? Is it possible to love your husband even if you no longer want to be intimate with him…in that way?
Dry spells are normal, especially for those in long-term relationships. Couples lose interest in sex for a variety of reasons: having a new baby, being busy at work, or simply being too exhausted at the end of the day. Still, there are deeper reasons, like a lack of emotional connectedness or no longer finding your partner attractive.
Whatever the reason sex is no longer a part of your marriage, it’s important not to view this as a ‘relationship death sentence.’
“About a year and a half into our marriage, I was seriously never in the mood to have sex…”
32-year-old Heather J. shared with Women’s Health how she lost interest in sex after only less than two years of marriage.
“At first, I thought something was up with our relationship. We did it a lot in the beginning, like six times a week. But about a year and a half into our marriage, I was seriously never in the mood to have sex,” she confided, adding how she had to encourage herself to do it once a week in an effort to reassure her partner, who was supportive as always.
Continuing, she shared, “I loved him fully and was super attracted to him. It was a mood thing. He never made me feel bad about not being in the mood or anything like that. I ended up finding out I was feeling this way because of my birth control, and once the doctor took me off, I felt better and we started having a decent sex life again, doing it about two to three times a week.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I love him, and I love our life together. I just feel blah about my body…”
29-year-old mom of two Juliet M shared how different sex is after having kids.
“Mainly because I’m always tired and the last thing I want to do is get naked, show my husband my post-pregnancy body, and have sex. Don’t get me wrong, I love him, and I love our life together. I just feel blah about my body, and I’d also rather sleep when the kids sleep than stay up and have sex,” she shared. “This is an ongoing fight in our household, and it kind of sucks.”
Have you experienced this, moms? Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
Clinical psychologist Barbara Greenberg, who’s worked with couples for over three decades, writes in an article on Psychology Today, that love can exist without sex, but that doesn’t mean it should.
Weathering dry spells is a natural part of the challenges of marriage, but as with many other trials, it can be overcome with loads of love and patience.
sources: Psychology Today, Women’s Health
READ: 5 Expert-approved ways to deal with a partner who’s lost interest in sex