When people imagine the first moments after childbirth, the image is often filled with joy, tears of happiness, the sound of a newborn’s first cry, and an instant connection between mother and baby.
But for some new moms, the experience is very different. Instead of overwhelming love, they feel distant, numb, or as if they are watching life unfold from the outside. This is called dissociation after giving birth, and it’s more common than many think.
What Is Dissociation After Giving Birth?
Dissociation is a psychological response where the mind temporarily “disconnects” from the body, emotions, or surroundings. After childbirth, it can feel like:
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Being present, but not fully “here”
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Watching yourself from the outside
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Feeling numb or unable to connect with your baby
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Experiencing the world as blurry, dreamlike, or unreal
For some mothers, this “pause” is short-lived. For others, it lingers, making the early days of motherhood confusing and emotionally heavy.
Why Does It Happen?
There are several reasons why dissociation can occur after giving birth:
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Overwhelming experience of labor – Childbirth is intense, both physically and emotionally. Dissociation can be the brain’s way of coping.
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Stress and exhaustion – Sleep deprivation, pain, and the sudden responsibility of caring for a newborn can overwhelm the nervous system.
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Past or birth-related trauma – A traumatic delivery or unresolved trauma from the past may trigger dissociative reactions.
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Hormonal shifts – The postpartum period involves massive hormonal changes that can affect mood and mental health.
How Moms Often Describe It
New mom Arïslendy shared her story on TikTok:
“Her first cry should’ve been the loudest sound of my life. Instead, it felt like I was underwater—watching, hearing, existing, but not feeling. I wish I could tell you what I was thinking, but all I remember is the feeling of being outside my body. This is what birth looked like through the lens of dissociation. I pulled through though.”
Her words resonate with many mothers who describe the same sense of emotional distance right after giving birth.
The Hidden Struggles
Mothers who experience dissociation often carry hidden fears and guilt:
These thoughts can weigh heavily, especially in a culture that often idealizes the “perfect” birth experience. But feeling disconnected does not mean a mom is failing. It means she is human, and her body and mind are still processing.
Is Dissociation Normal?
In many cases, dissociation after birth is a temporary coping response. It helps the brain manage an overwhelming situation and can pass as the mother recovers and adjusts.
However, if dissociation is frequent, intense, or long-lasting, it may be linked to postpartum depression (PPD) or postpartum PTSD. In these cases, seeking professional help is important for both mother and baby’s well-being.
What Can Help?
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Acknowledge it – Knowing dissociation happens to many moms helps reduce guilt.
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Reach out – Talk to your partner, family, or a trusted friend about how you feel.
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Seek professional support – If the disconnection continues, consult a doctor, therapist, or counselor.
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Prioritize rest and self-care – Sleep, nutrition, and support with baby care can make a big difference.
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Be gentle with yourself – Bonding doesn’t always happen instantly. It can grow over time.
The Takeaway
Dissociation after birth can feel frightening, but it is not a reflection of a mother’s love or ability to care for her child. It is a sign that her mind and body are processing a life-changing experience.
With time, support, and in some cases professional help, mothers can move through dissociation and build the deep connection with their baby that they long for.
You are not alone. You are not broken. And your journey of motherhood is valid.
Originally published on theAsianparent Singapore
