A lot of couples feel that having a child will bring them closer together, however, it's not always the case.
For a lot of couples, having kids is one of the greatest feelings, and the next big leap in their relationship as a married couple.
However, is it true that having kids can potentially cause problems in your married life?
Children won’t improve your marriage
According to a number of studies, a couples’ satisfaction in their marriage declines during the first year, and surprisingly, for couples who have children, the rate at which their satisfaction declines gets doubled.
These findings clearly go against the common notion most couples have that having children can make their marriage happier. In fact, having children won’t improve your marriage, as the added responsibilities and stress of raising children can cause strain in your relationship
It’s not uncommon to see parents talk about how their relationship with their spouse suffer once they have kids, and a lot of couples would admit that it’s hard to find time for sex after they have kids.
It doesn’t mean that having kids is a bad thing
A decline in your relationship with your spouse doesn’t mean that having kids is a bad thing. Having kids shows a shift from being lovers, into being parents.
Instead of spending time together with your spouse, you spend more time with your kids, and your priorities start to shift from your marriage, towards taking care of your kids.
This sudden shift in priorities can make you and your spouse feel that you’re drifting apart, since you have less time to spend with just each other, and most of your time is spent on making sure your kids grow up to be healthy, happy, and well-adjusted human beings.
Always work on your relationship with your spouse
Now, just because having kids can cause you and your spouse to move further apart doesn’t mean that you have to let it be that way.
Your relationship with your spouse is just as important, since the state of your marriage can have a significant impact on how you’re taking care of your kids. So you should make it a point to keep the fire of your love burning.
For starters, you can try getting a babysitter so that you and your spouse can go on a much needed romantic date. Once your kids are older, and can handle themselves alone in the house, you can even go on a honeymoon trip to rekindle your romance.
Little things also matter, such as saying “I love you,” giving each other gifts, and even sending sweet notes or text messages.
Your relationship might not be exactly the same now that you have kids, but it’s just as important to not disregard romance in your lives.
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