Being a mother changes you
The moment I was wheeled out of the labour ward, I was filled with a sense of relief. The whole ‘ordeal’ was finally over! No more pushing and panting or crying and screaming. Just this quiet sense of solitude. Finally, after 26 agonising hours I could take a breather.
Just as I was about to close my eyes and fall asleep, I felt a strong and foreign feeing. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. Looking back now, I guess I would call it sense of emptiness. My stomach felt so empty and so bare. I had been carrying Sameer for nine months in me…we had been one and now he was sitting in a nursery half way across the hall! It just didn’t seem right.
A million questions flashed through my head. Is he alright? Is he crying? Was he well taken care of? Can I be with him? Why was he so far away? For the first time in nine months he felt distant. That night, I was not able to get any shut eye. I waited anxiously for the sun to rise so I could see my precious again!
I know this sounds clichéd, it is really amazing how giving birth has changed me. Where once I feared being able to rise up to the occasion of being a new mum, the fact that I jump out of bed in the oddest hours of the morning just to feed Sameer when hearing him cry for milk has really surprised me. All this despite how worn out I had felt right after the pregnancy. Two years ago I never pictured myself like this. But here I am…and it feels completely right and natural. I have changed, I am a different person now. But I wouldn’t change it for anything. I am becoming the person I was meant to be.
How has becoming a parent changed your life?
– Zuleha Harun Rashid
Business Development Manager
