Children can be naughty at times. And in some cases, you’ll see kids that seem like they’re always acting out, having a tantrum, and sometimes even fights with other kids to get what they want.
Is it the parent’s fault that their kid is like that? Or are there really ‘bad’ children?
Are bad children born bad?
Traditionally, psychologists have always said that ‘bad’ children come about because of bad or irresponsible parenting. However, the hard truth is that even in a caring and loving environment, there can be some cases where kids will grow up to become “bad” kids.
According to Leading British child psychologist Dr. Pat Spungin, “There will always be children who are much more difficult to parent than others. While I am reluctant to label children bad seeds, I think certain children are born with much less susceptibility to influence.”
He adds, “Psychologists recognise that there are temperamental differences in babies from birth. The nature versus nurture argument will always be an ongoing one, but I know, from my own work, that there are children who are born with less empathy and understanding of people and who care much less about the consequences of their actions and the effects on other people.”
This means that it’s not enough to create a loving and caring environment for your child, it’s also important to take your child’s temperament into account, as children do react differently to different parenting styles.
What can parents do?
First off, it isn’t right to call them ‘bad’ kids. There’s really no such thing as a bad child, but there are children who can be hard-headed or hard to deal with.
The first thing to remember is to always remember to be understanding, and patient. Kids, and teens, will sometimes push your buttons to the point that you get frustrated and angry at them. Extend your patience, and show them that even if they’re doing their best to annoy you or get you riled up, you have the maturity and patience to not let it get to you.
It’s important to set good examples for your kids as well, so make sure to always be loving, caring, and respectful towards other people, especially if your child is around. Setting a precedent for kindness, love, and understanding is vital in teaching your child these values.
Additionally, try to look beyond their behavior and think about why your child is acting out. Maybe you spend too little time at home? Maybe you’re not as present in their lives as they would like? There are a lot of factors which can contribute to bad behavior, so it’s important to see the underlying meaning in their actions.
Lastly, there’s nothing wrong with getting outside help. Sometimes, talking to a counselor or a therapist would help your child open up better to share their feelings. Getting help doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent, it means that you’re willing to do what it takes to help your child get in touch with their feelings and find a healthy outlet for their negative thoughts.
Sources: dailymail.co.uk, familyshare.com
READ: Mga discipline mistakes na madalas pinagsisisihan ng mga parents!
Be sure to check out theAsianparent Community for more insightful stories, questions, and answers from parents and experts alike. If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them in our Comment box below. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Google+ to stay up-to-date on the latest from theAsianparent.com Philippines!
