Going by the fact that you’re reading this, I figure that you’re having doubts about whether you are truly giving your beloved wife the satisfaction she needs in the bedroom. It doesn’t matter if you’re newlyweds or if you’ve been wed for decades, having a fulfilling sex life is a possibility, so long as you two stay attuned to each other’s needs and be willing to work at difficulties together.
If you want to know what more you could be doing more to satisfy your better half physically, begin by watching out for these signs.
1. She doesn’t seem invested in intimacy
If your wife doesn’t offer feedback or if she seems unaffected by your advances constantly, it may mean she is growing cold or lacking interest. An unsatisfied wife also doesn’t seem to care if she achieves orgasm. She may also be masturbating often, preferring to pleasure herself solo than waiting for you.
When you do show interest in getting intimate, she shuts you out.
“Not moving much during sex and being less responsive are obvious withdrawal signals,” says Judy Kuriansky, Ph.D., a professor of clinical psychology at Columbia University. “The only way to know what’s up is to talk.”
2. She always gives instruction
If she always plays the director during intercourse, steering your pace or dictating how to touch her, then it seems she’s longing for more. It’s important to leave your ego at the door and take feedback. Show her you’re eager to please her, while remaining sensitive to what she’s trying to express and she’ll come around.
“If she’s giving you guidance and feedback, see the value of learning her preferred turn-ons,” sex therapist Megan Fleming tells Men’s Fitness. “If she’s constantly giving you feedback she wants to help you get it right for her. If in the moment her suggestions leave you feeling like you can’t get it right no matter what you try, let her know that although well-intentioned, her instructions weren’t helpful.
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3. She lets you go to bed first
If she usually waits for you to go to bed and then she suddenly doesn’t seem excited to jump into bed at the same time, it may mean she’s avoiding intimacy. Of course, if your schedules differ, then not going to bed at the same time isn’t necessarily a tell-tale sign. If you sense something is up, asking her won’t hurt. Getting to the root of the problem, no matter how simple it may seem, will help you on your way to more satisfying intimacy.
4. She doesn’t like cuddling afterwards
Not all women are necessarily cuddlers, but if you’re wife was a cuddlebug before, but now seems uninterested in staying close after sex, then something must be up. Physical satisfaction is greatly linked to their emotions, and cuddling is a loving expression between two people who are committed and deeply attached. Take time to ask her what you can improve without making her feel pressured or ambushed.
5. She gushes about other people having amazing sex
If you’ve noticed how she raves about other couple’s amazing sex lives, she may be trying to tell you something, even if she doesn’t realize it. Listen to her and don’t shut her out. This is not an attack on your ego, it may be her way of communicating needs she can’t express directly.
Reassure her that you want you both of you to have a fulfilling sex life. Be sensitive to her needs and don’t let ego get in the way of productive conversation. We all change over time and what turned her on before may not exactly get her engines going ten years later. Adapt and be invested in pleasing her and you’ll be better equipped to truly satisfying her.
sources: Men’s Fitness, Men’s Health
READ: How can you deal with unsatisfying sex with your partner?
