They say, “The moment a child is born, the mother is also born..” True, indeed.
I never really understood what it meant to be a parent until I became one. It’s a lot of work, and there are a lot of challenges that come with the job.
Parenting is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done, but it’s also one of the most difficult.
As a first-time mom, I’m learning everything on the fly. There are new challenges to face every day, and it’s often hard to know where to turn for help.
Parenting can be overwhelming, and it’s easy to feel like you’re doing everything wrong.
In this blog post, I’m going to share some of my parenting struggles and how I’m coping with them – I mean, still trying to cope with them.
Hopefully, it will help other first-time moms feel a little less alone in this crazy journey we call parenthood.
First-Time Mom Guilt
One of my biggest parenting struggles is feeling like I’m not doing enough for my child. I’m constantly second-guessing myself and wondering if I’m doing the right thing. I felt guilty all the time.
I was constantly questioning my decisions as a mom. Was I feeding my baby enough? Was I changing his diaper enough? Was I keeping him safe? Why is he sick again, was it my fault? I felt like I was never doing enough, and it was wearing me down. I was a wreck.
I realized that I needed to take a step back and relax. I needed to trust my instincts as a mom and not be so hard on myself. I started to feel a little better when I stopped being so critical of myself.
I think a lot of first-time moms feel this way. We’re just trying to do our best, but we’re bombarded with so much information (and sometimes conflicting information) that we can’t help but feel overwhelmed.
It’s hard to cope with these feelings, but luckily, there are ways to manage them. For me, talking to other moms was really helpful. It made me feel like I wasn’t alone in this struggle. We were all just trying our best.
The Expectations vs. Reality of Motherhood
Becoming a mom was a huge change for me. I mean a 360-degree kind of change.
I won’t think I really understood what I was getting into until I was in the thick of it. The reality is, motherhood is hard and unpredictable.
There are days when I feel like I’m doing everything wrong, and that I’m not good enough for my child. On other days, I feel like a Supermom and can conquer the world. But the truth is, most days I’m just trying to go with the flow.
I’m constantly comparing myself to others, wondering if I’m doing things the right way. I’m flooded with advice from family and friends, and sometimes it’s hard to know who to listen to.
The key for me is acceptance. I have to accept that I’m not perfect, and that’s okay. I need to learn to forgive myself and give myself a break. Because at the end of the day, I’m doing the best that I can.
The Lack-of-Sleep Struggle
I’m exhausted. I’m so tired that I feel like I could sleep for days on end and still not be caught up.
Nine months of pregnancy plus 17 months of being a mom. I can’t even recall the last time I got a full 8-hour uninterrupted sleep. Crazy, right? But it’s true.
I’m not complaining though because I know that this is only a phase. A phase that I will eventually get through. The key is to not let exhaustion take over.
How? Seeing my child smile, hearing him laugh, or even just watching him sleep peacefully, makes it all worth it. In those moments, I forget about my tiredness and just feel grateful.
I also make sure to take care of myself as much as I can. I know that if I’m not feeling good, I won’t be able to take care of my son the way he deserves. So I make sure to eat healthy food and keep my soul happy by doing things that I love.
It’s not always easy, but I know that I can do it. I’m a mom after all, and moms are superhumans.
Dealing With Postpartum Depression
It’s been 17 months now since my son was born, and I’m happy to say that I’m starting to feel a little like myself again. Not totally but a little better. It has been a long, hard road but I’m slowly getting there.
One of the hardest things about PPD is that it’s not just “the baby blues.” It’s much more than that.
Those first few weeks and months were tough. I was exhausted, both physically and emotionally.
I felt like I was failing as a mother, that I wasn’t cut out for this whole parenting thing. On top of that, I was dealing with some serious hormone fluctuations which made everything feel even more overwhelming.
There were days when I would just sit and cry for no apparent reason. Everything felt so hopeless and I couldn’t see a way out. But I guess my son is the way out. He’s my reason for getting up each day and trying to do better.
PPD is real but it doesn’t have to define you or your journey as a mother. You can and will get through this. Just take it one day at a time.
Being a Working Mom
Another struggle I’m facing is dealing with the guilt that comes with being a working mom. I work at home, mostly at night. As much as I want to be with my son and play with him during the day, I’m tired and irritated most of the time.
It’s hard because I feel like I’m missing out on so much. I feel like I’m sacrificing my time with him for my career. I worry that I’m not spending enough time with him.
Then I remind myself that this is only temporary. I’m doing this for us, so that we can have a better life. And eventually, when he’s older, he’ll understand why I did what I did. But hey, don’t get me wrong, I know that I’m doing what’s best for our family.
In the meantime, I try to make the most of the time that I do have with him. I cherish our bedtime routine A.K.A dede-time, and I try to be present when we’re together. Because even though it’s not a lot, it’s still something.
The thing is, as working moms, we have to find a balance that works for us. We have to learn to let go of the guilt and just do the best that we can.
Social Life Changes After Becoming a Mom
It’s been a while since I’ve had a chance to go out with my friends, and I really miss those days. ut now that I’m mom, my social life has changed in a big way. No more walwal days.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my son more than anything, and I’m so grateful for him. But it’s been hard adjusting to this new stage of my life. I sometimes feel like I’m always stuck and bored at home, and I’m not sure when or how I’m going to have fun again. I kinda miss my old self.
It’s been really nice having my friends come over to visit, but even that’s starting to wear thin. I feel like I can’t really relax or have fun when they’re here; I’m always worried about keeping an eye on my son so he doesn’t get into trouble.
I know things will get easier with time, but right now it feels like everything is new and overwhelming. I just have to take it one day at a time and be patient.
Final Thoughts
Motherhood is hard enough, dealing with it the first time is even harder. So, if you’re a new mom and feeling lost, just know that you’re not alone. We’re all in this together, and we’ll get through it together. Just take it one day at a time.
So there you have it, a glimpse into my life as a mom – a messy mom. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. I’m grateful for my son and for the lessons he’s teaching me along the way. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
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