You really don’t have to make your own red room and try everything à la Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele. But you can use props like them. Because as it turns out, sex toys’ benefits for a relationship are many and varied!
Yes, you read that right.
You’ll be surprised to know that the use of sex toys has increased exponentially over the past decade. In fact, a recent study suggests that the taboos surrounding the use of sex toys and vibrators are dissolving.
People are realising that the use of sex toys benefits not just their bedroom acts but also their relationships.
Use of sex toys benefits your relationship with your partner
The myth that sex toys are used because your partner is not ‘good enough’ in bed has been quashed by many experts. In fact, author and sex expert Dr Kat Van Kirk reiterated the same in an article in Psychology Today.
“The belief that using a sex toy means your partner isn’t a good enough lover is one of the most common misconceptions people have about sex toys,” she said.
She added that generally, couples who are adventurous in bed can benefit a great deal from experimenting with sex toys. Here’s how:
1. More enjoyable sex
If you are game and willing to try sex toys and props in the bed, there are chances your sex life will improve. Every couple can benefit from a little more intimacy, and sex toys can help in that regard.
They lend excitement and engage the couple to try something new. A 2016 study revealed that couples who included sex toys into their bedroom acts — in addition to “incorporating more variety of sexual acts, mood-setting, and sexual communication,” reported more satisfaction.
Image source: File photo
2. A few more orgasms
Yes! That is correct. Recently a study conducted by Indiana University’s School of Public Health was published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy. It revealed that only 18.4 per cent of women reported that intercourse alone was sufficient for orgasm.
The rest stated that they desired clitoral stimulation either separately or during sex. That’s what sex toys (especially vibrators) do for you.
Sex toys benefit not only in invigorating passion but also in stimulation.
Image source: File photo
3. No pressure to be #1
While on one hand, some men may feel inadequate if their partners use sex toys, others may feel that the pressure to help their partner climax is no longer on their shoulders.
This subtle shift in mindset can help you build a better and more passionate relationship with your partner. If you haven’t tried this technique before, you might want to share it before you head to the bed.
This, of course, is going to be a trial and error situation. But hey! That’s what toys are for.
Many women often feel inadequate or unhappy with their appearance, and that can negatively impact their relationship with their husbands. That’s one of many sex toys benefits. With mutual masturbation or climax, you can take the aid of sex toys to reduce the anxiety of being naked.
This allows you to work on your intimacy.
If your partner, however, rejects the idea, you can bring it up again another time and try how it works for the two of you in the future.
Image source: File photo
5. Better communication
When you believe that there are sex toys benefits for your relationship and discuss their use with your partner, this signals open communication.
A 2013 study tried to understand the use of vibrators by women. The researchers revealed that women used sex toys freely because “it may be that being able to communicate openly and feel that one’s sexual interests and pleasures are accepted by one’s partner enhances satisfaction.”
Now you may wonder how to begin. Well, worry not. We have you covered there too!
7 sex toys for beginners
If you have never tried any sex toys before, this list will help you decide what to buy first.
- Couple’s vibrator. It fits right under your labia. It stays put in one place and that means both of you can enjoy the sensation it gives off.
- Strap-on vibrator. This comes especially with an adjustable harness. Mind you, this can be for the more adventurous but with various sizes and weights, it can enhance your sexual experience.
- Butt plugs. They may sound like a torture implement, but once you get a hand of these, your sexual experience will never be the same without them. These are available in the market in various sizes. And, as the name suggests, it is meant to be worn inside your butt.
- Restraints. Yes, these are just like the sex toys of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, but you don’t have to go all the way. You can buy soft restraints to try something new in the bedroom.
- Ben Wa Balls. You may have seen in these in the movie 50 Shades of Grey. They are round silver balls that you place inside your vagina. They not only enhance your sexual experience but also strengthen your kegels and your pelvic floor.
- Cock ring. A silicone ring as the name suggests is worn over a penis. It has many benefits including prolonged orgasm and extra clitoral stimulation, just to name a few. Plus, some even come with a battery.
- Whip. You don’t need to buy a leather whip. You can start off with something soft and small. Or you can try a few that are available with a feather on the top. This can be used by both partners.
Can pregnant women use sex toys?
Yes, sex toys like dildos and vibrators are safe to use during pregnancy. However, like with anything else, you need to practise with caution.
For starters, avoid penetrating the vagina too deeply with a sex toy (and never use one with sharp edges, that could be painful). But you do not have to worry about it piercing the placenta or hurting your baby, as the mucus plug in your cervix makes sure that the uterus, and your little one, are safely sealed from the outside world until they’re ready to come out.
Moreover, make sure that anything you put into the vagina is clean before using it. For silicone toys that don’t vibrate, you can boil them for 5 to 10 minutes or put them in the dishwasher. You can also wash vibrators in warm water and antibacterial soap. Check the special cleaning instructions before and after using them, especially when you’re pregnant.
As a rule, you should also stop using sex toys and consult with your doctor about sexual activity during pregnancy if you experience pain, cramping, or discomfort, or if you’re experiencing any vaginal bleeding, are at risk for premature labour, or have a low-lying placenta.
Read this for more questions about sex during pregnancy.
The fact is that incorporating sex toys in your bedroom can boost a relationship and increase intimacy and sexual satisfaction. However, one needs to be open to their partner’s desires and accepting of their rejection as well.
If there is a sense of mutual respect and openness, then you can experience great satisfaction in bed together.
Republished with permission from theAsianparent Singapore
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